Chuck norris sneezes bullets at people.
When Chuck Norris eats dinner at a restaurant, the wait staff tips him.
Chuck Norris and Hitler were sitting in a cafe. Chuck said, "I don't like the juice." Hitler heard him wrong.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
Insurance never covers you against damage sustained by Chuck Norris, as it's classed as an Act of God!
Chuck Norris doesn't need a case for his phone. The ground is afraid to break it.
Chuck Norris favorite pick up line: ''now''
Before America can declare war, congress has to ask Chuck Norris.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.