Chuck norris sneezes bullets at people.
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Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all-time because Chuck Norris never played.
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Chuck Norris removes the tag from mattresses, and mails them back to the company.
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Justin Bieber was inspired by Usher because of his music and dance, Usher was inspired by Michael Jackson The King of Pop, Michael Jackson was inspired by...Chuck Norris.
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If Chuck Norris misses a roundhouse-kick, you will still die.
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Chuck Norris can drive to the moon... on foot.
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Chuck Norris can walk on water..,he's not God...the water is just afraid of getting him wet.
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Chuck Norris once slapped a headless man.
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Chuck Norris once toboggoned down Mount Everest and then sprinted back up cuz he realized he lost his mitten.
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Sharks are not living on the sea because they can't breath on continent.
They live on a sea, because Chuck Norris doesn't.
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When Chuck Norris is as old as dirt, he will be the salt of the earth.
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