If Chuck Norris were a toy, everything about it would be hazardous.
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Chuck Norris has a six-pack on his chin.
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If Chuck Norris were a substance, he would abuse you.
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Chuck Norris found the fountain of youth, but...he wasn't thirsty.
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Willy Wonka gave an everlasting gobstopper to Chuck Norris.
The flavor lasted 2.3 seconds.
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Uri Geller bends spoons with his mind, Chuck Norris bends minds with a spoon.
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Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
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Chuck Norris can keep up with the Kardashians.
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In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job".
That is the story of the universe.
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Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey.
He chews bees...
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Chuck Norris does not require food, drink, shelter, or sleep, only confirmed kills.
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