Chuck Norris gives poison ivy a rash.
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Chuck Norris has the right to keep and arm bears.
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Chuck Norris won one million dollars gambling playing Solitaire.
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Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast.
They taste like chicken.
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Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
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When Chuck Norris drives a Lamborghini, people assume the Llamborghini is compensating for something.
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Chuck Norris is so hard, he uses diamonds as stress balls.
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Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
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Ozzy Osbourne once accidentally bit the head off a live bat - Chuck Norris once deliberately bit the head off a live pterodactyl.
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The saying "Kill two birds with one stone" actually came from when chuck Norris downed two Peregrin Falcons with one roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
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