Chuck Norris has 5 bathtubs, they are known as the Great Lakes.
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Some people break the laws of the state, Chuck Norris breaks the laws of physics.
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Randy Johnson can throw a fastball 101mph.
Chuck Norris can throw Randy Johnson 101mph.
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Chuck Norris has the right to keep and arm bears.
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Chuck Norris went on Man vs Wild once.
The Wild lost.
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Chuck Norris can literally kill time.
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Chuck Norris can find the end of a circle.
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When I was a kid, my Chuck Norris action figure broke all my other toys while I was at school.
When my mom tried to throw him away, he killed her.
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When Chuck Norris finishes his workout, the gym takes a break.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use a coffee maker, he puts the coffee beans in his mouth and boils them with his rage.
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If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results.
It just doesn't happen.
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