Chuck Norris has 5 bathtubs, they are known as the Great Lakes.
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Earth is not spinning around the sun.
The sun is just desperately trying to keep a distance to Chuck Norris.
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Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up.
Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
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Every time Satain goes to sleep, He has to pray to God hoping Chuck Norris does't get him at night.
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Count from one to ten.
That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you... Forty seven times.
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The reason we are human is because Chuck roundhouse kicked a monkey into a higher species.
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Chuck Norris can convert kilograms into centimeters.
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Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.
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Chuck Norris once heard that nothing can kill him, so he tracked down nothing and killed it.
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You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life?
In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
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Chuck Norris rejects your reality and substitutes it with his fist.
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