Chuck Norris has 5 bathtubs, they are known as the Great Lakes.
When Chuck Norris wants salmon he eats the bear too.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can startle his own reflection.
A blind man ran into Chuck Norris and got his sight back. Unfortunately, the first and last thing he saw was a roundhouse kick to the face.
Show me a man with a nub for an index finger, and I'll show you a man that asked Chuck Norris to "Pull my Finger"
Before going to bed, the Boogeyman always checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can blow smoke rings, but also smoke squares. Actually he can also blow your face.
The second hardest element in the universe is Chuck Norris. The first only comes into existance when Chuck gets excited.
Chuck Norris doesn't have an attitude. He has a personality you can't handle.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
When Chuck Norris watches a horror movie, Chuck Norris dosen't scream, the movie does.