Q: Why did God create Adam before he created eve?
A: Because he didn't want anyone telling him how to make Adam.
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Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground.
One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, "You see that Indian?"
"Yeah," says the other cowboy.
"Look," says the first one, "he's listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction."
Just then the Indian looks up.
"Covered wagon," he says, "about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon."
"Incredible!" says the cowboy to his friend. "This Indian knows how far away they are, how many horses, what colour they are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon. Amazing!"
The Indian looks up and says, "Ran over me about a half hour ago."
After spending 20 minutes trying to get my wife's bra off, I decided to give up,
I wish I'd never put it on now.
What is the difference between a man and E.T.?
E.T. phoned home.
I only wanted to have a child, not marry one.
Q: Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
A: They already have boyfriends.
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Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics?
He had it bronzed.
4 gay guys walk into a bar and notice there is one stool left.
One gay guy suggest to play rock, paper, scissors and the other gay guy says.
"Stop all this nonsense. Lets just flip the stool over."
Q: What would it be a good idea for you to do after a man takes your wife?
A: Let him keep her!
A man enters a store and says: "15 litres of wine please."
"Did you bring a container for this? "
"You're speaking to it."
Q:How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:None, the sockets go with the house.
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