Q: Why did God create Adam before he created eve?
A: Because he didn't want anyone telling him how to make Adam.
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Jose approaches the Mexican border on his bicycle.
Hanging from his shoulders he has two large, bulky bags.
The border patrol guard stops him and says,"Hey mister what ya got in those bags?"
"Just sand," replied Jose.
How can you tell if a man is lying?
You can see his lips moving.
Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?
Because they are tired of using their own.
"What is the thickest book in the world?
What Men Think They Know About Women."
Q: Why all men say "Ladies first"?
A: They want to watch their asses.
Why don't women blink during foreplay?
They don't have time.
One spelling mistake can destroy your life!
A husband wrote a message to his wife on his official trip and forgot to add 'e' at the end of a word:
"I am having such a wonderful time! Wish you were her..!"
John was in trouble, really big trouble.
You see, he forgot his wedding anniversary and, if you're married, you can imagine what he's probably going through.
His wife was really pissed.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!"
She was serious too, so John got serious.
The next morning he woke up early and left for work.
When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped, right there in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife threw her robe on and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house and opened in with much anticipation.
Inside she found a brand new bathroom scale.
John has been missing since Thursday.
How do most men compare to Mel Gibson?
They have everything he has, except talent, money, and looks.
Q: Why the men's voice is louder than women?
A: men have an antenna!
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