Q: Why did God create Adam before he created eve? A: Because he didn't want anyone telling him how to make Adam.
What do men and sperm have in common? They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.
How do you save a man from drowning? Take your foot off his head.
What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common? Men always miss them.
How can you tell if a man is happy? Who cares?
In the beginning, God created Earth and then rested. After that, He creaed man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man got ever rested.
Women prefer the simple things in life… like men.
A man wanted to become a monk so he went to the monastery and talked to the head monk. The head monk said, "You must take a vow of silence and can only say two words every three years." The man agreed and after the first 3 years, the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?" "Food cold!" the man replied. Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said "What are your two words?" "Robe dirty!" the man exclaimed. Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?" "I quit!" said the man. "Well," the head monk replied, "I am not surprised. You have done nothing but complain ever since you got here!"
What is the difference between a man and childbirth? One can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable while the other is just having a baby.
Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, "You see that Indian?" "Yeah," says the other cowboy. "Look," says the first one, "he's listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction." Just then the Indian looks up. "Covered wagon," he says, "about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon." "Incredible!" says the cowboy to his friend. "This Indian knows how far away they are, how many horses, what colour they are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon. Amazing!" The Indian looks up and says, "Ran over me about a half hour ago."