Q: Why did God create Adam before he created eve?
A: Because he didn't want anyone telling him how to make Adam.
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Dad: Hey son want to hear a joke?
Son: Yeah!
Dad: Pussy.
Son: I don't get it.
Dad: Exactly...
A man walks into a bar and says "Ow!"
A second man walks into the same bar.
You would think after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it coming.
Jennifer, wanna go to my place?
I am not Jennifer
But I didn't ask about that...
Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman.
The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one has to drop off, otherwise they are all going to fall.
They were not able to choose that person, but then the woman made a very touching speech.
She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because as woman she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids, and for men in general, without ever getting anything in return.
As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping their hands.
Adam goes to God and says, "I would like a mate to please me and make living joyful. She should be beautiful and perfect in every way.
God says, "I can do that, but it will cost you a testicle, a kidney, and one eye."
To which Adam replied, "Well, what can I get for a rib?"
A man goes into a florist and says, "I want to buy some flowers for my girlfriend".
"Certainly sir", she responds, "and what in particular are you after"?
After some thought, the man answers, "a shag".
The Perfect Man:
- wakes up at 5 am everyday
- exercises everyday
- makes his own bed
- cleans his room
- works sincerely
- does not touch alcohol
- helps in the kitchen
- does not indulge in night life
- always punctual
- prays daily
- hits the bed at 9 pm sharp
Such a perfect man can only be found in jail.
One spelling mistake can destroy your life!
A husband wrote a message to his wife on his official trip and forgot to add 'e' at the end of a word:
"I am having such a wonderful time! Wish you were her..!"