Chuck Norris has one pet. It's name is fear.
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Chuck Norris once stood on a bridge in London.
Then they wrote a song about it.
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Chuck Norris tells his GPS when he wants to turn.
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Chuck Norris can't fly, gravity just looks the other way when he leaves the ground.
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In the late 80's When Michael Jackson first met Chuck Norris he turned white.
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Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police.
They are used as bullet proof vests.
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Chuck Norris got a flame and froze it.
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When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
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Chuck Norris ate once at Hard Rock Cafe.
It's now called Shakey's.
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Chuck Norris had his first job as a paperboy.
"There were no survivors."
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Armageddon is defined as the day Chuck Norris gets bored with us.
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