Chuck Norris has one pet. It's name is fear.
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Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.
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When Chuck Norris plays sudoku, he can put two same numbers in one square and still solve it right.
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The phrase "Just a second" comes from the time it takes for Chuck Norris to heat up a cup of coffee... with his breath.
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Coffee doesn't wake up Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris wakes coffee up.
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Lou Gehrig considered himself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth, no one knew that it was because he was soon getting away from Chuck Norris.
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Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
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Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
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Chuck Norris can facebook through a calculator.
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Chuck Norris is what you get when you open a can of whoop-butt.
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Chuck Norris needs no introduction, but if you need an introduction, you need Chuck Norris.
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