Before going to bed, the Boogeyman always checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not listen to lectures. Lectures listen to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is like an F5 Tornado... When you see him coming you better run for cover and pray to God he doesn't find you...
Chuck Norris is the only person able beat a fish at holding his breath under water.
Chuck Norris' phone never auto corrects him.
Shooting stars make a wish when they see Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris was once in a catch 22, but he roundhouse kicked it down to to a 12 pack and literally drank his problems away.
Chuck Norris can play a whole note in 3/4 time.
Chuck Norris can beatbox with a triangle.
Chuck Norris once created a time machine and had to fight himself. We call it The Big Bang.