Before going to bed, the Boogeyman always checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is the only man to punch a cyclops between the eyes.
The earth doesn't revolve around the sun. It's the sun that revolves around Chuck Norris.
A blind man ran into Chuck Norris and got his sight back. Unfortunately, the first and last thing he saw was a roundhouse kick to the face.
When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror, he gets jealous.
Chuck Norris uses gasoline as aftershave just for the pleasant tingling sensation.
When Chuck Norris eats teddy grahams, he craps out grizzly bears.
There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia. That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
Chuck Norris can win a Grammy from coughing.
Give Chuck Norris a piece of coal and he'll give you back a diamond.