Before going to bed, the Boogeyman always checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris stared in to the mirror and said, "There can only be one Chuck Norris."
Then his reflection cried and walked away.
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Chuck Norris knows what color a smurf turns when you choke it.
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If you carefully examine your health insurance policy, you will see that there is no cover for "Chuck Norris related incidents".
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When Chuck Norris burns calories, he uses a flamethrower.
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CBS hired Chuck Norris to replace Charlie Sheen, now the show is called Ten and half Men.
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The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris didn't want get winded outrunning it.
Chuck Norris hates to sweat.
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Chuck Norris created Heavy Metal when he was upset.
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Chuck Norris eats granite and drinks lava for his lunch.
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When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
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