Before going to bed, the Boogeyman always checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't give warnings. He doesn't have to, you should already know.
Chuck Norris can travel through time by running 88 miles per hour.
It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
Chuck Norris won the Nascar season, he was driving a bike.
Chuck Norris doesn't vote. He elects!
Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb. On his penis.
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
Chuck Norris can win a Grammy from coughing.
Chuck Norris went to the sun and spent two nights.