Chuck Norris once taught a book to read.
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Chuck Norris doesn't get stuck in traffic, traffic gets stuck in Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't jump. He moves the ground away from him.
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Chuck Norris's sign language is heard around the world.
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Fire trucks and ambulances pull to the shoulder when chuck Norris drives by.
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There is no such thing as global warming.
Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with his gun over his pillow.
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There are no comets.
Only people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked so hard that they are now in permanent orbit in our solar system.
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Chuck Norris has never received an electricity bill, he powers everything with his rage
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Chuck Norris talks in my sleep.
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Chuck Norris once won a Scrabble tournament despite getting only Z's and Q's in his rack.
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