Armageddon is defined as the day Chuck Norris gets bored with us.
There are no comets. Only people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked so hard that they are now in permanent orbit in our solar system.
Never ask Chuck Norris for an autograph. Why? Because Chuck's signature is a straight roundhouse kick to the face.
Chuck Norris doesn't age, he levels up!
Chuck Norris doesn't pay the government, the government pays him.
Tungsten steel was discovered in Chuck Norris' DNA.
If Chuck Norris was in Lord of the Rings, he wouldn't need to take it to Mount Doom, he would destroy it with one roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris doesn't blink...reality pauses.
Osama Bin Laden is hiding from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris invented the question mark... so he could say the sentence "Do you want to die slowly of fast?"
Wonder Woman's magic Lasso is actually one of Chuck Norris' chest hairs.