Armageddon is defined as the day Chuck Norris gets bored with us.
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Chuck Norris can sit at the corner of a round table
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Chuck Norris couldn't act in Titanic because he would have saved everyone.
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Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb.
On his penis.
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The Grinch stole Christmas until Chuck Norris ordered him to return it.
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Once Chuck Norris went to Mc Donalds and had a pizza.
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Someone once broke into Chuck Norris' house and instead of stealing anything they gave Chuck Norris everything they owned.
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Chuck Norris has proven Newton's third law of physics, there is no force equal to a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
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Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris.
Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.
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The Question Mark was invented after scientists attempted to measure the speed of a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
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Chuck Norris can text using a rotary phone.
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