Joke #10507

Armageddon is defined as the day Chuck Norris gets bored with us.
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Scissors are told not to run with Chuck Norris.
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The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church. One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons. The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!" Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy. After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church. The priest was holding steady in the pulpit. The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
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Ballet is banned within a 1000 miles of Chuck Norris.
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Crest fights cavities, Chuck Norris kills them.
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Elvis Presley, Richard Petty, Budweiser, and Michael Jackson all call Chuck Norris "The King".
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Chuck Norris doesn't beat around the bush, he beats up the bush.
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When Chuck Norris gets bitten by a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris has one pet. It's name is fear.
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If you stab Chuck Norris, your knife will bleed.
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The only mark ever made on Chuck Norris is his birth mark.
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