Armageddon is defined as the day Chuck Norris gets bored with us.
Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
Chuck Norris is the reason Dorothy must follow the yellow brick road.
Chuck Norris can do the splits in mid air,rotate his hips 360" so fast it lifts him off the ground thus making the Chuck Copter!
Chuck Norris can scratch sandpaper.
Chuck Norris can send you a roundhouse kick by E-Mail.
Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby. Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.
Chuck Norris walked his version of a 40-yard dash in 5.6 seconds; he was later told it was the Boston Marathon.
Chuck Norris does not listen to lectures. Lectures listen to Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.