Armageddon is defined as the day Chuck Norris gets bored with us.
Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole cow, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.
The Matrix once had to take the red pill to escape from Chuck Norris. It failed. Nothing can escape from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris leaves messages before the beep.
Few people can go down Niagra Falls in a barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a carboard box.
Only Chuck Norris can tell you the answer to your question before you ask it.
Once while having s*x in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and ran into the engine. We now know this truck....as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris could actually win on Takeshi's Castle.
Chuck Norris can turn diamonds back into coal.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
The first thing James Cameron saw when he reached the Challenger Deep was Chuck Norris snorkeling down to test his new watch.