Chuck Norris doesn't have an attitude. He has a personality you can't handle.
Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times.
Neil Armstrong was the first person to walk on the moon, Chuck Norris was the first person to walk on the sun.
If Chuck Norris were an Adam's Apple, he'd be in your throat right now.
Bears only poop in the woods when Chuck Norris says its ok..
Chuck Norris has a daugter: Jason Bourne.
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
Chuck Norris can beatbox with a triangle.
Crest fights cavities, Chuck Norris kills them.
Chuck Norris once threw a pebble. We now call it...Hayley's Comet.
Chuck Norris uses a stunt double during crying scenes.