Chuck Norris doesn't have an attitude. He has a personality you can't handle.
When Chuck Norris decides he wants to kill some time... it's not a figure of speech. He actually does it.
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
When chuck Norris was in school, he made his PE teacher run laps.
Every resturant has a drive thru when you're riding shotgun with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once gave a cop a ticket for speeding.
When Chuck Norris went to Easter island, he couldn't understand why other tourists kept asking him to pose for photos next to the stone monoliths.
When Chuck Norris plays the game Clue, the answer is always everyone in every room with a roundhouse kick!
Chuck Norris uses an air bag... in order to protect the inside of his car in case he stops too fast.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a stapler, he puts the paper between his fingers and they just stick.
Only Chuck Norris can cross the "Beyond" section of Bed, Bath and Beyond store.