Chuck Norris can fly a submarine.
Chuck Norris was banned from the Olympics because his mere presence is considered a performance-enhancing substance.
Chuck Norris is the reason there is wind. The air tries to get away from him as fast as possible.
Chuck Norris can run so fast he can cause time travel.
Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
Chuck Norris can play a PS3 with a Super Nintendo controller, and it works!
Chuck Norris' pulse-rate is measured on the Richter Scale.
Chuck Norris thought 24 was a sit-com.
Chuck Norris once soaked his beard in carbonated water. The result is now sold as Red Bull.
During vacation my front door's open and I left a note saying "This house is protected by Chuck Norris 3 days a week you guess which 3." All was good.