Chuck Norris is a hunter. But Chuck Norris does not hunt. That implies the possibility of failure.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Demons don't hunt Chuck Norris... He is hunting them!
A meteor did not kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just went on a hunting trip.
Two hunters are stalking through the forest when one says to the other that he has to take a dump. "Well, go in the bushes." "What should I use to wipe my ass?" "Use a dollar bill." A few minutes later the hunter steps out of the bushes with s**t all over his hands. "What happened?" asks his friend. "I didn't have a dollar bill, so I used four quarters."
A fellow always wanted to own a pet skunk, so in the dead of winter, he took his girlfriend with him to go hunting for one. After a bit of waiting, they bagged a skunk and brought him back to the truck. The skunk was very scared and very cold, so the guy asks his girlfriend if she can keep the skunk between her legs to keep him warm. "But what about the smell?" asks his girlfriend. "Oh, he'll get used to it, just like I did."
Why do women love Hunters the best as lovers? 1. Hunters have the longest and most powerful rifles. 2. Hunters always....shoot twice. 3. Hunters love to...eat what they shoot!
A gang of thieves broke into a blood bank last night and stole a hundred pints of blood. Police are still hunting for the clots.
An exhausted hunter out in the woods stumbled across another hunter. Hunter 1: "Am I glad to see you, I've been lost for three days." Hunter 2: "Don't get too excited, friend, I've been lost for three weeks."
Chuck Norris can jump without leaving the ground.
The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.