Joke #9813

Chuck Norris is a hunter. But Chuck Norris does not hunt. That implies the possibility of failure.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

A meteor did not kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just went on a hunting trip.

Demons don't hunt Chuck Norris... He is hunting them!

Chuck Norris doesn't bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.

Chuck Norris can pour a pancake so thin that it only has one side.

A hunter was out with his dog Old Faithful when he sees a duck and shoots it down. Old Faithful runs and brings his back the duck. As the hunter reaches for the duck a forest ranger comes by snatches the duck out of Old Faithfuls mouth puts his finger in its ass pulls it out smells his finger and says "This here is a Wisconsin duck, do you have a license to shoot Wisconsin ducks?" The hunter reaches into his wallet and pulls out a license for a Wisconsin duck. The officer says "thank you, sir, have a great day and leaves." The hunter then proceeds with Old Faithful when he sees another duck, takes as I'm and shoots it down. Old Faithful runs grab the duck and come back. The hunters about to grab the duck when the same forest ranger comes back, grabs the duck out of the dog's mouth take his finger puts it up the ducks ass, pulls it out smells his finger and says "This is an Ohio duck, have you got a license to shoot Ohio ducks, sir?" The hunter reaches into his wallet and pulls out a license for an Ohio duck. The officer looks at him and says, "I'm sorry sir, just doing my job, have a nice day," and leaves. Well, this kept happening over and over. Every time the hunter shot a duck and Old Faithful would bring it back, the Same forest ranger would be there to question the hunter if he had a license for all the different ducks he shot, and in his bewilderment seeing the hunter having all these different licenses for each duck. Well on the last duck the hunter shot and Old Faithful bringing it back, the Same forest ranger comes and triumphantly snatches the duck out of the dogs mouth, takes his finger puts it up the ducks ass, smells it and says "This here is a Canadian duck, have you got a license to shoot Canadian duck?" Exasperated, the hunter reaches into his wallet and pulls out a license for a Canadian duck. The forest ranger looks at the hunter and says, "you know sir, you've had a license for every duck you shot, tell me, where are You from?" The hunter turns around, drops his pants, bends over and says, "You tell me! You're the Expert!"

They say if u talk shit about Chuck Norris he will slam ur face into the keyboard but he's to dumb to find me jdjdjddjdjfbfnfmapoibrndskdhsnjsjrrjwiaokdbdjaaksjdbjs this is Chuck Norris let that be a lesson.

Chuck Norris is so sharp you can cut yourself just by looking at him.

A gang of thieves broke into a blood bank last night and stole a hundred pints of blood. Police are still hunting for the clots.

Did you hear about the cannibals who captured a scrawny old hunter? It sure gave them something to chew over.