Chuck Norris doesn't get stuck in traffic, traffic gets stuck in Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris found Nemo with his eyes closed.
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When Chuck Norris plays hide and seek, even google can't find him.
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When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor exclaimed, "It's a man!"
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If Chuck Norris killed Kenny, he'd stay dead.
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When Chuck Norris goes skydiving at 10,000 feet he jumps into the plane... from the ground.
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Chuck Norris bought out the Walt Disney Company with a car-wash token.
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When Chuck Norris hired his bodyguards, he figured he was paying to save someone.
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When Chuck Norris gets angry, forests explode from their own boiling sap.
When Chuck Norris laughs, flowers bloom and butterflies hatch.
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Ozzy Osbourne once accidentally bit the head off a live bat - Chuck Norris once deliberately bit the head off a live pterodactyl.
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Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face.
Nobody would survive anyway.
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