Chuck Norris doesn't get stuck in traffic, traffic gets stuck in Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris' phone never auto corrects him.
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Chuck Norris can keep up with the Kardashians.
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Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime.
Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
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Chuck doesn't have e-mail, he has HE-mail.
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Chuck Norris makes his own Girl Scout cookies using real Girl Scouts.
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The Playstation Network is down because Chuck Norris unplugged his PS3.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use a coffee maker, he puts the coffee beans in his mouth and boils them with his rage.
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When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.
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Chuck Norris can spell roundhouse kick with five letters: death.
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Never ask Chuck Norris for an autograph.
Why?
Because Chuck's signature is a straight roundhouse kick to the face.
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