What do you call 50 lesbians and 50 government employees in one room?
100 people that don''t do dick!
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How can you tell if your house was built by lesbian carpenters?
All tongue-in-groove, with no studs.
What do you call two lesbians in a canoe?
Fur traders.
Did you hear about the two lesbians who bought an organ so they could play hymns?
In a small cathedral a janitor was cleaning the pews between services when he was approached by the minister.
The minister asked the janitor, "Could you go into the confessional and listen to confessions for me?
I really have to go to the bathroom and the Widow McGee is coming.
She tends to go on but never really does anything worthy of serious repentance, so when she's done just give her 10 Hail Mary's and I'll be right back."
Being the helpful sort, the janitor agreed.
Just as expected the Widow McGee came into the booth and started her confession.
"Oh Father, I fear I have done the unforgivable.
I have given into carnal thoughts and have had oral sex."
Stunned, the janitor had no idea how to handle this situation.
Surely 10 Hail Mary's would not do.
So, in a moment of desperation the janitor peered his head out of the confessional and asked an altar boy, "Son, what does the minister give for oral sex?"
In reply the altar boy said, "Two Snickers bars and a Coke."
Q: Why was the lesbian sick?
A: She was lacking vitamin D.
What’s the difference between a straight woman and a bisexual woman?
4 drinks.
When two men have sex what position are they going to be in?
But what about when two dogs have sex?
That means that the two men are having sex doggy style then what ways are the dogs having sex?
That means that the dogs are having an affair with the men to have sex doggy style.
Q. Did you hear they came out with a new lesbian shoe?
A. They're called Dikes.
They have an extra long tongue and only take one finger to get off!
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
a lickalotapus.