What do you call 50 lesbians and 50 government employees in one room? 100 people that don''t do dick!
How can you tell if your house was built by lesbian carpenters? All tongue-in-groove, with no studs.
What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Fur traders.
Did you hear about the two lesbians who bought an organ so they could play hymns?
Q: How can you tell if a lesbian is butch? A: She kick starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.
Q: How can you tell if a bank robber is gay? A: He ties up the safe and blows the guard.
Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm and have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated. When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. Two dozen babies are in the ward, 23 of which are crying and screaming. One, over in the corner, is smiling serenely. A nurse comes by, and to the men's delight, she points out the happy child as theirs. ''Isn't it wonderful?'' Brad exclaims. ''All these unhappy children, and ours is so happy.'' ''He's happy now," says the nurse. "But just wait until we take the pacifier out of his ass.''
Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language. He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating. The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the fuck is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!". The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!"
What do you call a truck full of dildos? Toys for Twats.
Q: What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic? A: Snap-on tools!
A woman was suspicious in the loyalty of her husband for a long time and she decided to make him jealous. "My love, what would you say if I was having sex with your best friend?" "I'd say you're a lesbian!"