Why did the moron give the sleepy cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay!
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What’s black and white and makes a lot of noise?
A zebra with a drum kit.
Baby Rabbit: "Mommy, where did I come from?"
Mother Rabbit: "I ll tell you when you re older."
Baby Rabbit: "Oh, Mommy, please, tell me now."
Mother Rabbit: "If you must know, you were pulled from a magician's hat."
"Did you hear about the farmer who lost control of his tractor in the cow pasture?"
"No."
"Did he hurt the cows?"
"No, he just grazed them."
Q: Which side of a deer has the most meat?
A: The inside.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a gorilla?
An animal that puts you out at night.
How do you weigh a whale?
On Whale Weigh Scales.
Have you seen the offices of the RSPCA?
It’s tiny; you couldn’t swing a cat in there.
Law of Cat Disinterest
A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.
What kind of car does a rabbit drive?
A furrari.
A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves, "What are you doing in there?" she asked.
The rabbit replied, "This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?" The lady confirmed,
"Yes."
"Well," the rabbit said, "I'm westing."