Joke #9849

Why did the moron give the sleepy cow a hammer? He wanted her to hit the hay!
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A man sat at a local bar and said, "This is a special day, I'm celebrating." "What a coincidence," said the woman next to him. I'm celebrating, too" she replied, clinking glasses with him. "What are your celebrating?" "I'm a chicken farmer, and for years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally fertile." "What a coincidence, the woman said. For my husband and I have been trying to have a child. Today, my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant! How did your chickens become fertile?" she asked. "I switched cocks," he replied. "What a coincidence," she said.
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has 74.05 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, husband
What does a spider do when he gets angry? He goes up the wall!
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has 31.97 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What do you call a cow playing with its self? A: Beef stroganoff.
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, game
What band is a cow favorite? Moody Blues.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, music
Q: If a horses foot covers 2 acres of land, what will his tail cover? A: His ass!
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has 75.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, horse, vulgar
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you? Your calves.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, family
A man was very proud of his guard dog, he would leave it to roam free in the garden to sow the world his house was guarded. One day a woman knocked at his door. “Is that your big dog outside?” Wondering how she had got past him he said: “Yes why?” She said "I’m sorry but my dog just killed him!” “What?” Roared the man “What kind of dog have you got?” “A Peke” Replied the woman. “A Peke? How could that little thing kill my big fine guard dog?” “I think it got stuck in his throat!” replied the woman.
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has 81.71 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, dog, women
A plowhorse, a honeybee and an old geezer are debating about which of them is the greatest. 
The horse says, "I can plow all day long to provide food for dozens of people!" "
The bee says, "I pollinate all the plants every year and make honey besides!" 
 The old geezer says... (We're waiting...)
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has 23.90 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, horse, old people
Q: Why does a squirrle swim on its back? A: To keep its nuts dry
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has 40.61 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty
Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear started the forest fire? A: He got arrested just like you would've.
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has 22.04 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal