Chuck Norris made the llama extinct. Never spit in his face.
Chuck Norris is the ghost in paranormal activity.
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
Chuck Norris graduated college in one hour.
When Chuck Norris donates blood he refuses the needle, he asks for a knife and a bucket.
Chuck Norris goes to the Bermuda Triangle for vacation.
Chuck Norris puts all of his baskets in one egg.
Sharks are not living on the sea because they can't breath on continent. They live on a sea, because Chuck Norris doesn't.
Chuck Norris stared in to the mirror and said, "There can only be one Chuck Norris." Then his reflection cried and walked away.
In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.