Chuck Norris made the llama extinct. Never spit in his face.
Chuck Norris can make a stop sign say go.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Mickey mouse talks like that.
Chuck Norris can suck a black hole.
I think Chuck Norris is fake cuz if he were real he'd come right now and smash my face into my keyboaraoebdbfjvjdblgoirugsvdkf
Chuck Norris won the gold, silver and bronze medals at the Olympics. In the same event. From home.
Scientists believe that a giant meteor killed off the dinosaurs. This is true, if you can consider Chuck Norris to be a giant meteor.
CNN tells about every disaster around the world. CNN is actually Chuck Norris News.
In the back of the book of world records, it says "All records are held by Chuck Norris. The ones listed are in second place."