Chuck Norris can flush a port-a-potty.
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Chuck Norris is who killed Kenny.
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You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life?
In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
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Chuck doesn't have e-mail, he has HE-mail.
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There was no volcanic eruption in Iceland - Chuck Norris opened the BBQ season.
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Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
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Chuck Norris can play Pokemon Go on his landline.
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When Chuck Norris touched a Prius, it turned into a Ferrari
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Chuck Norris can travel back in time into the future.
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911 calls Chuck Norris for emergency.
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Chuck Norris' muscles are so developed that he's had intellectual conversations with them.
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