A man goes to his doctor after losing a lot of weight.
"I feel great, but I have a problem, doctor.
I was so fat beforehand that my skin has stretched and stayed that long.
Is there anything you can give me?"
"Hmm, short of plastic surgery, there is only one alternative.
Please take off your clothes."
The man strips down.
The doctor pulls all his skin upwards and ties it in a ball above his head.
"But doctor -- now my navel is in the middle of my forehead!"
"True," replies the doctor, "and you should see what you have for a collar and tie."
What are two things a black man can't get in a fist fight.
A black eye, and a swollen lip.
Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard by choice, even the jaws of life can't cut it.
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J: What did Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving day?
A: TWERKY!
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My life may be a mess but I know the difference between "Your" & "You're"-
How do you caculate the population of Russia?
You roll a bottle of vodka down the street.
Chuck Norris like life... lucky her.
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I know a lady who blew her man's jimmy off because he wanted to be down with O.P.P.
Now he down with No P.P.
Chuck Norris lives in a Roundhouse...
And his favorite drink is punch...
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