What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption.
One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.'
The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'.
Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.
Her husband responds, ''But they are twins.
If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.''
Brrr! My hands are cold.
Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman?
A baby with a black eye!
Vote:
Question: How many men does it take to open a beer?
Answer: None. It should already be open by the time she brings it.
A Lady calls the airline office in New York and asks, "How long does it take to fly to Hawaii?"
The clerk says to her, "Just a second."
The woman says "Thank you", and hangs up.
If tinder has taught me one thing it's that there is an extraordinary amount of single girls named Shelby that love to ride horses
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.
One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what?
You have been with me all through the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me.
When my business failed, you were there.
When I got shot, you were by my side.
When we lost the house, you stayed right here.
When my health started failing, you were still by my side.
You know what?"
"What dear?" she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
”I think you're bad luck."
Q: Why did God create women?
A: He took one look at men and said, "I know I can do better than this."
Why is it good that there are female astronauts?
When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions.