The best jokes about women

Question: How do you fix a woman’s watch? Answer: You don’t. There’s a clock on the stove.
Vote: has 37.36 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

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Question: How many men does it take to open a beer? Answer: None. It should already be open by the time she brings it.
Vote: has 37.36 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beer, women
How many women does it take to change a light bulb? 11 - 10 to form a committee and 1 to get her boyfriend to do it...
Vote: has 37.36 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

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A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?” “What dear?” she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth. ”I think you’re bad luck.”
Vote: has 37.27 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

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What do you call a room full of women, half with PMS, half with yeast infections? A whine and cheese party.
Vote: has 37.27 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

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Five men and one woman wash up on a desert island after a shipwreck. Before long they are all getting pretty horny so they all make a deal. Each man will marry the woman for one week at a time, at which point the next man in line will marry her and so on. All the men get sex every five weeks and the woman gets sex as often as she wants with a different man each week. The situation works wonderfully for five years. When the woman suddenly dies... The first week after wasn't too bad. The second week was geting sort of bad. The third week was getting pretty bad. The fourth week was really bad. The fifth week was horrible! By the sixth week it was unbearable... so they buried her.
Vote: has 37.02 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: desert island, disgusting, marriage, time, women
One day there was a woman who lost her cat named "LOVE." It was pretty dark outside and she lived in New York. So, thinking that he might be down the street, she put on her house-coat and went looking for him. When a police officer stopped to ask what she was doing, she said very honestly, "I'm looking for LOVE." The policeman arrested her on the spot.
Vote: has 36.90 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, cat, cop, women
Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women? When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.
Vote: has 36.90 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, women
“Honey,” said this husband to his wife, “I invited a friend home for supper.” “What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven’t been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy meal!” “I know all that.” “Then why did you invite a friend for supper?” “Because the poor fool’s thinking about getting married.”
Vote: has 36.90 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners!
Vote: has 36.90 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women