Joke #4955

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: kids

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Willow Smith is 11 and has a tongue ring, half her head shaved and is bisexual. She needs to go live with her Aunty and Uncle in Bel-Air.
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has 43.73 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: age, celebrity, kids, life
The cop got out of his car and the kid, who was stopped for speeding, rolled down his window. “I’ve been waiting for you all day,” the cop said. The kid replied, “Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.” When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
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has 40.24 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: cop, kids
Once upon a time there was a women that was about to have triplets. In her stomach the babies were talking to each other. The first baby says "I want to be a plumber, because there is so much water in here". The second baby says "I want to be an electrician because it is so dark in here". And the last baby says "I want to be a hunter, because if that damn snake comes back in here i'm going to cut it off".
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has 79.22 % from 762 votes. More jokes about: kids, sex, women
Why do ghetto people always name their kids things they cant afford like Diamond, Mercedes, Car Insurance?
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has 66.87 % from 119 votes. More jokes about: black people, car, kids, racist
Either the woman at the back of the train has two really ugly children, or two seriously cool Pokémons.
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has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: kids, ugly, women
Handy hint: Feed your baby onions so you can find it in the dark.
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has 32.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: kids
There was a little boy sitting on a curb in one hand he had a cat and the other a box of smarties. Every so often he would pop a smartie bite the cat get up and move down to the curb. There is a man watching this young boy and wonders what he's doing once again the kid pops a smartie bites the cat gets up and moves down on the curb. So the man comes outside and yells to the boy but the boy ignores him and continues popping a smartie biting the cat and moving down the curb. Finally the man screams hey kid "what are you doing?" The boy looks back and says "who? me?" The man says "yes." The little boy responds "Well sir I'm playing trucker." The man confused says "What do you mean playing trucker." The little boy then says "Yes, playing trucker I'm popping pills, eating pussy and moving down the road."
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has 59.75 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: cat, communication, dirty, game, kids
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a fat kid in the stomach and his foot print stayed their until the kid lost the weight.
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has 38.49 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fat, health, kids
Son: "Mommy why doesn't Gandhi have hair?" Mom: "Because he never lies." Son: "Ohh now I see why ladies have long hair."
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has 72.77 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: communication, insulting, kids, mean, women
At a poor-side of Athens, a kid were on the street and was playing. A cop who was crossing around that street, saw him and asked him: "What are you doing there kiddo?" "I’m playing..." "What are you playing?" "Oh, well... I collect sand, I pour some water in and I add then some poop and I’m making little weaklings!" "What kind of weaklings?" "Cops..." The cop, furious, slaps the kid and screams: "Get the hell away from here and run to your house! I never wanna see you wondering around here." For the next two days, the kid didn’t show up. The third day, the kid was on the same spot, playing. The cop, saw him again and approached the kid. "What are you doing there?" "I’m playing..." "What?" "Oh, well... I collect sand, then pour some water in and I’m making little weaklings." "Congratulations! enthusiastic said the cop. And what kind of weaklings you’re making there?" "Firefighters...!" "So, how come you’re not putting any poop on them as well?" "Cause, whenever I do, they come out cops...!"
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: cop, game, geography, kids