Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk.
Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
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What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.
Mary's father has 5 daughters,
1. Nana
2. Nono
3. Nini
4. Nene
What is the fifth daughters name?
Kids dream about having superpowers.
Superpowers dream about having Chuck Norris.
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What did the red light say to the green light?
Don't look I'm changing!
Q:How does a bear start a race?
A: READY, TEDDY, GO!
A lawyer, a priest, and a young boy were in a plane that was going to crash, yet they only had 2 parachutes.
The lawyer proclaimed that since he was the smartest man on the plane, that he deserved to survive. He took a chute and jumped.
The priest looks and the young boy, and reflecting back on his life, told the young boy to take the last parachute since he had already
lived a wonderful and full life.
The boy replied, "You can have the other chute because the smartest man on this plane just jumped out with my bookbag!"
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
(A bear-faced lyre!)
Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison?
A: "I feel like a kid again."
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Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child,"No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking."
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