The best kids jokes

A couple had been married for 50 years and had raised a brood of 10 children and was blessed with 20 grandchildren. When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies, "Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids."
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has 53.90 % from 145 votes. More jokes about: kids, marriage, time
Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A: We have to stick together.
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has 53.69 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: kids
Q: What do you call a sleeping bull? A: A bulldoser.
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has 53.67 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: kids
Billy was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom. So Billy raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused. Of course the teacher said yes, but asked Billy to be quick. Five minutes later Billy returned, looking more desperate and embarrassed. "I can’t find it," he admitted. The teacher sat Billy down and drew him a little diagram to where he should go and asked him if he will be able to find it now. Billy looked at the diagram, said "yes" and went on his way. A short while later he returned to the class room and said to the teacher "I still can’t find it." Frustrated, the teacher asked Tommy, a boy who had been at the school for awhile, to help Billy find the bathroom. So Tommy and Billy left the classroom together and five minutes later they both return and sat down at their seats. The teacher asked Tommy "Well, did you find it?" Tommy was quick with his reply. "Oh sure, he just had his boxer shorts on backwards."
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: kids, school, teacher
Bob asks his grandmother: "Granny, tell us, how my sister and me came to life?" "Your sister, Bob, came from heaven and a stork has brought you to us." Bob then, turns to his sister and whispers: "Should we tell her the truth, or should we let her die without knowing…"
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: kids
A father went to take his daughter from school. While waiting, he heard her talking with a classmate of hers "I worry so much-..! My dad works 16 hours a day so he can build a dream house for when I grow up. My mom spends her days cooking for me, making deserts and tiding my room so I can have fun. I worry. I’m so worried!" "With that kind of parents you have nothing to worry about," her friend told her. "Yeah, but what if... What if they... What if they... ESCAPE?"
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has 53.07 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids, school, work
What is a bunny's favorite music? Hip-hop.
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has 53.03 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: kids
What do Gary Glitter and Napalm have in common? Both can strip the clothes off a small Vietnamese child in under two seconds.
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has 52.92 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: kids, military, racist
Which is the most confusing day in America? Father's day! 80% don't know whom to wish. Rest 20% are scared someone will come and wish them.
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has 52.77 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: ethnic, Fathers day, kids, sex
During the Iraq War, As a soldier was saying good-bye to his family, his five-year-old son, James, held his leg and started pleading not to leave. "No, Daddy, please don't go!" he kept repeating. They were beginning to make a scene when his wife, desperate to calm him, said, "Let Daddy go and I'll take you to get a pizza." Immediately, James loosened his death grip, stepped back and in a calm voice said, "'Bye, Daddy."
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has 52.64 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: family, food, kids, military, war
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