The best kids jokes

A man and his son went into a store. The kid picked a USA flag and told his dad: "Dad, I want this flag." The man tells him: "Nah, this looks too bright. Check if it's available in a different color."
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, ethnic, kids, stupid
Happy Father's Day to the top three most likely candidates.
Vote: has 54.66 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Fathers day, kids, sex, single, women
While having their evening dinner together, a little girl looked up at her father and asked, "Daddy, you're the boss in our family, right?" The father was very pleased to hear it and confidently replied, "Yes my little princess." The girl then continued, "That's because mommy put you in charge, right?"
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, family, kids
Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A: We have to stick together.
Vote: has 54.49 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
A man and his wife agreed on a code to use in front of their kids when they want to have s*x. The code is: "Making a call." One day the man ask his son to tell his mother, that dad wants to make a phone call. The boy returns to his dad, that mom says she is out of order. Then he ask him to tell her, that dad will go outside to make a phone call. The boy returns, that mom says, "If you do so, she will open a central telephone station in the house."
Vote: has 54.49 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, marriage, phone, sex, wife
A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Halloween, health, kids
You are so old, when you were a kid rainbows were black and white.
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, kids
When Chuck Norris was a kid his parents took him to a beach in Georgia. While swimming Chuck Norris pants came down and out popped Florida.
Vote: has 54.16 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, kids
A child walks into a whore house with a dead frog on a string trailing behind him. He makes his way up to the counter and says to the person behind such named counter to give him the most diseased woman you have. She looks down at him for a few moments and replies “I’m sorry but I don’t think I can help you….If you would like, we have this young petite thing that could be just what your looking for.” The child puts a 50 dollar bill on the table and repeats “I want the most diseased woman you have.” She looks down at the bill and hesitates but she says to him “I can’t, but we have this nice grandmotherly type for you to cuddle and snuggle up to.” The child looking irritated slams down another 50 dollar bill insisting that she give him the most diseased woman they have. A few moments go by and finally the lady agrees and tells him to go to room 114 and wait a few moments. As he goes up the stairs the dead frog on a string follows right behind him, hitting every step on the way. Half an hour go by and the child comes down the stairs with the dead frog trailing behind. As he is just about to step out the door and back outside the woman behind the counter stops him. “Excuse me, but I have on question before you go…what is the dead frog for? Turning around the child has a look of pure sencerity as he begins to explain. “I wanted the disease so I could give it to my sister, who would give it to my dad, who would give it to my mom, who would give it to the mail man…And that’s the Son of a Bitch who ran over my pet frog.”
Vote: has 54.15 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, death, health, kids
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In a stork?
Vote: has 54.15 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, kids, stupid