The best kids jokes

A husband, who has six children, begins to call his wife “mother of six” rather than by her first name. The wife, amused at first, chuckles. A few years down the road, the wife has grown tired of this. "Mother of six," he would say, "what’s for dinner tonight? Get me a beer!" She gets very frustrated. Finally, while attending a party with her husband, he jokingly yells out, "Mother of six, I think it's time to go!" The wife immediately shouts back, "I'll be right with you, father of four!"
Vote: has 52.04 % from 66 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, marriage, mean, party
During the Iraq War, As a soldier was saying good-bye to his family, his five-year-old son, James, held his leg and started pleading not to leave. "No, Daddy, please don't go!" he kept repeating. They were beginning to make a scene when his wife, desperate to calm him, said, "Let Daddy go and I'll take you to get a pizza." Immediately, James loosened his death grip, stepped back and in a calm voice said, "'Bye, Daddy."
Vote: has 51.81 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, food, kids, military, war
An Arabic kid joined my football team. All he did was blow the plays.
Vote: has 51.67 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, ethnic, football, kids, racist
Why are little girls better than little boys? Because when you're finished using them as little girls, you can turn them over and use them as little boys.
Vote: has 51.64 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, kids
A man and his wife agreed on a code to use in front of their kids when they want to have s*x. The code is: "Making a call." One day the man ask his son to tell his mother, that dad wants to make a phone call. The boy returns to his dad, that mom says she is out of order. Then he ask him to tell her, that dad will go outside to make a phone call. The boy returns, that mom says, "If you do so, she will open a central telephone station in the house."
Vote: has 51.64 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, marriage, phone, sex, wife
Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison? A: "I feel like a kid again."
Vote: has 51.47 % from 97 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, kids, prison
A kid asks his father: Kid: Daddy why do i have to go to bed? Dad: Because the bed wont come to you.
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, kids
Chuck Norris once gave a box of his old watches to a group of kids. These kids are now known as the power rangers.
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, kids
What has ten letters and starts with gas? An automobile.
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you." The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves. "What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!" Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?" The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!"
Vote: has 50.36 % from 110 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: game, kids, money, work