Three kids were smoking behind the shed.
"My dad can blow smoke through his nose!" boasted the first.
"Ha, mine can blow smoke through this ears!" countered the second boy.
"That’s nothing," piped up the third. "My dad can blow smoke through his arse. I know,‘cos I’ve seen the nicotine stains on his undies."
A man and his son went into a store.
The kid picked a USA flag and told his dad: "Dad, I want this flag."
The man tells him: "Nah, this looks too bright. Check if it's available in a different color."
When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
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A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office.
He inquisitively ask the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"
She replied, "I'm having a baby."
With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"
She said, "He sure is."
Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"
She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby."
With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked...
"Then why did you eat him?"
When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
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Q: What did the little black boy say as he was sliding down a zebra?
A: Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't...
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Q: What do you call a pool full of black kids?
A: Cocoa puffs.
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Yo' Mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, the kids yell, "Here comes the school bus."
Q: What's the difference between an NFL player and an elevator?
A: The elevator can raise a child.
Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: Put a little boogey in it!