A: How do children in Baghdad do? A: Bombastically.
Q: How big are the pastro's beds? A: Oh c'mon, it knows every little kid.
What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breath!!!!
What do we do with crude oil? Teach it some manners!
How do teddy bears keep their den cool in summer? (They use bear conditioning!)
Two tomatoes are trying to pass the street. Suddenly, the one screams to the other: "CAR!" (splash) "WHERE?" (splash)
Q: What did the big turnip say to the little turnip A: When did you turn up?
When is a door sweet and tasty? When its jammed!
He was so ugly when he was born they didn’t know whether to buy a cot or a cage.
There once was two people Lisa and Brian They got married and had a child. The only problem was that the child was only a head, he had no arms, legs or torso. So all his life he was picked on and teased and he always wished he had a body. So when he turned 21 his dad took him to a bar and let him have his first beer ever. When he drank a whole bottle an arm popped out. When he drank more bottles more body parts popped out. After drinking many beers he finally had a whole body. As they left the bar, he was very drunk and was hit by a bus and he died. The moral of the story "Quit while you're a head."