The best kids jokes

A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of? Dating children.
has 20.65 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: dating, kids, men, women
What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breath!!!!
has 19.25 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: kids
"Jeff, my child, your mother had to stay in the hospital for a few days, cause the stork that brought your baby brother bite her by accident." "Oh, gosh! What a terrible thing to happen to her after such a difficult birth!"
has 18.64 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: hospital, kids
A team of doctors attended the delivery of quintuplets who were able to walk immediately after the umbilical cords were cut. The senior doctor was asked to explain this unusual occurrence. ‘I guess they had a lot of practice,’ said the doctor. ‘What do you mean, “practice”?’ asked a junior colleague. ‘They were just born!’ The doctor replied, ‘Well, it was standing womb only.’
has 17.77 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: kids
What's white, furry, and shaped like a tooth? (A molar bear!)
has 16.88 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: kids
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were having a conversation one fine Sunday evening. One remarked to the other, ‘I got a new hearing device and it works fine?' The second said, ‘oh yes, my grandchildren just love the gifts of my choice.' The third one who noticed the hearing device in the ear of the first one asked, what kind is it?' The one with the brand new hearing device answered ‘about 6 O'clock'. All three of them looked up in the birds in the sky and said, "Birds of the same feather ‘flock' together."
has 15.98 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, kids, old people, time
TEACHER: Why would you paint something black? STUDENT: So it runs faster.
has 14.76 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: kids
Why is it nice being a baby? It’s a nappy time.
has 12.75 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: kids
What is the hardest part of making shoe fly pie? Putting the shoes on the flies!
has 11.95 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: kids
Two guys meet: "Where were you lost my friend? says one of them." "Well, I took my kids to the zoo..." "And what kind of animals did you see there?" "The tiger... Huge and Scary! Full of stripes... Slowly walking inside the cage. She was “ahgrrr...” "Are you kidding me men? The tiger doesn’t go “ahgrrr..” … She “grrrrsss..”! "Right, ok.. But when you get too close to her face... !"
has 11.53 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, kids
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