The best kids jokes

What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp? (A bear-faced lyre!)
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has 29.51 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: kids
Q: What does a nosey pepper do? A: Gets jalapeno business!
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has 29.42 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: business, kids
He used to be a bottle baby, but when he reached the age of ten he pushed the cork out and escaped.
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has 29.42 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: kids
If a wizard was knocked out by Dracula in a fight what would he be? Out for the count!
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has 29.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: kids
You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk. You think "taking out the trash" means taking your in-laws to a movie. You take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. You ever cut your grass and found a car. The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat. You think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner. You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl'. You own a homemade fur coat. The people on Jerry Springer's show remind you of your neighbors. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws. You can get dog hair from out of your belly button. The beer can collection in the town museum is the big tourist attraction. People hear your car a long time before they see it.
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has 29.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, car, drunk, kids, wife
A couple of kids in the South get pulled over for speeding. When the trooper approaches the car, the driver says 'What's the problem, sir?'. The trooper takes out his machined aluminum flashlight and whacks the kid across the head saying 'You don't speak to a state trooper unless you're spoken to'. The trooper writes out the citation and gives it to the driver who responds 'Thanks a lot'. The trooper again gives the kid a dose of the flashlight and says 'When you address a state trooper, you finish your sentence with the word sir'. He then walks over to the passenger side and whacks the other kid with the flashlight. The kid says 'What was that for, sir?' The trooper says 'I was just fulfilling your wish. Y'all wouldn't have gotten 100 yards down this road before you'd have said to your friend, "I wish he'd have hit me with that flashlight", so I fulfilled your wish.'
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has 29.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: cop, kids
Four year-old Harry, who could tell time, was playing with a wall clock when her grandpa visited. Later, when he was putting on his coat to leave, the grandpa asked him what time it was. He looked at the clock blankly, and then answered in a triumphant way, "It's time for you to go, grandpa!"
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has 29.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: kids, time
What is black and white and red all over? (A panda bear with a sunburn!)
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has 29.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: kids
He was such a big baby that the doctor was afraid to slap him.
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has 29.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: kids
What is a baby? "A soft pink thing that makes a lot of noise at one end and has no sense of responsibility at the other."
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has 28.82 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids
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