A mother and her son are sitting on an airplane, which is ready to take off.
The son admires the parked plains’ through the window.
At one point, he turns to his mother, which was reading a magazine, and pops the question: "Since big dogs have little dogs, and big cats have little cats, how come, big airplanes have little plains?"
The child’s mother, bored to think of a reasonable answer, consultant him to ask the flight attendant.
Therefore, it happened: "Since big dogs have little dogs, and big cats have little cats, how come, big airplanes have little plains?" little boy asks the flight attendant.
Then, with a smile on her face, stewardess replied: "Did your mom told you to ask me?"
The boy shook his head positively.
So, she says back: "Tell your mother, that our company knows better and.. pulls out in time!"
I'm staying at her mothers house, and she said, it's only 8:30 pm and everyone's already ready for bed.
My niece chimes in and says, "not me.", to which i respond, "You don't count."
Without missing a beat, she said, "Yes i do. One, two, three, four."
Four year-old Harry, who could tell time, was playing with a wall clock when her grandpa visited.
Later, when he was putting on his coat to leave, the grandpa asked him what time it was.
He looked at the clock blankly, and then answered in a triumphant way, "It's time for you to go, grandpa!"
I hope the children will never find out why I say "oops..." so often when I vacuum their rooms.
Vote:
Q:How does a bear start a race?
A: READY, TEDDY, GO!
He used to be a bottle baby, but when he reached the age of ten he pushed the cork out and escaped.
A couple of kids in the South get pulled over for speeding.
When the trooper approaches the car, the driver says 'What's the problem, sir?'.
The trooper takes out his machined aluminum flashlight and whacks the kid across the head saying 'You don't speak to a state trooper unless you're spoken to'.
The trooper writes out the citation and gives it to the driver who responds 'Thanks a lot'.
The trooper again gives the kid a dose of the flashlight and says 'When you address a state trooper, you finish your sentence with the word sir'.
He then walks over to the passenger side and whacks the other kid with the flashlight.
The kid says 'What was that for, sir?'
The trooper says 'I was just fulfilling your wish.
Y'all wouldn't have gotten 100 yards down this road before you'd have said to your friend, "I wish he'd have hit me with that flashlight", so I fulfilled your wish.'
There once was two people Lisa and Brian
They got married and had a child.
The only problem was that the child was only a head, he had no arms, legs or torso.
So all his life he was picked on and teased and he always wished he had a body.
So when he turned 21 his dad took him to a bar and let him have his first beer ever.
When he drank a whole bottle an arm popped out.
When he drank more bottles more body parts popped out.
After drinking many beers he finally had a whole body.
As they left the bar, he was very drunk and was hit by a bus and he died.
The moral of the story "Quit while you're a head."
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a fat kid in the stomach and his foot print stayed their until the kid lost the weight.
Vote:
What do we do with crude oil?
Teach it some manners!