A lawyer trying to get tickets to a Broadway show, finally settled for a couple of seats a year in advance. When the exciting night arrived and he sat down in his seat, a woman in front of the lawyer noticed the empty seat next to him and asked why such a valuable commodity was unused. The lawyer replied that his wife couldn't make it. The woman asked him if he didn't have relatives or friends who could have used the seat. He replied, "Oh, they're all at the funeral."
What do you call Satan and a lawyer? Twins!
What is the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? The vampire sucks you’re blood only at midnight!
Q: And do you have a locker in that room? A: Yes sir, I do.
Down in the bayou, Bubba called an attorney and asked, "Is it true they're suin' the cigarette companies for causing people to get cancer? "Yes, Bubba, sure is true." responded the lawyer.
Q: And do you have a lock on your locker? A: Yes sir.