Q: What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?
A: About three pounds, including the urn.
What’s the difference between a lawyer and a spermatozoid?
Only one from 30.000 gets a man.
Why do they bury lawyers in 20ft holes?
Because deep down they’re all really nice guys.
How come sharks don’t attack lawyers?
From professional courtesy.
Not all the warrants, can be called milky cows, says a lawyer to a colleague of his, some of them are like the mice in the church.
Got for as lawyers that we know how to milk the mice...
Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start!
Why don’t you see lawyers on the beach?
Cats keep covering them with sand.
Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving
Q: Officer, who provided this description?
A: The officer who responded to the scene.
A lawyer trying to get tickets to a Broadway show, finally settled for a couple of seats a year in advance.
When the exciting night arrived and he sat down in his seat, a woman in front of the lawyer noticed the empty seat next to him and asked why such a valuable commodity was unused.
The lawyer replied that his wife couldn't make it.
The woman asked him if he didn't have relatives or friends who could have used the seat.
He replied, "Oh, they're all at the funeral."