The best lawyer jokes

Not all the warrants, can be called milky cows, says a lawyer to a colleague of his, some of them are like the mice in the church. Got for as lawyers that we know how to milk the mice...
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Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? A: His lips are moving
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Q: WITH YOUR LIFE? Let me ask you this then officer--do you have a locker room in the police station--a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties? A: Yes sir, we do.
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Why do they bury lawyers in 20ft holes? Because deep down they’re all really nice guys.
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A guy was talking with his friend: I’ve managed to separate from my wife in common agreement: she gets the house and I get the car and desk. Ok, but how about your finances? The lawyer takes care of those...
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Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A good start!
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A command was given to a dog: "SPEAK!" The dog said in return: "Not without my lawyer present!"
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How come the lawyer got underground only by his neck? It was not enough sand...
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Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.
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A lawyer trying to get tickets to a Broadway show, finally settled for a couple of seats a year in advance. When the exciting night arrived and he sat down in his seat, a woman in front of the lawyer noticed the empty seat next to him and asked why such a valuable commodity was unused. The lawyer replied that his wife couldn't make it. The woman asked him if he didn't have relatives or friends who could have used the seat. He replied, "Oh, they're all at the funeral."
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