The best jokes about life

Mohan (to the doctor): "Doctor, can you diagnose my Illness?" Doctor: "Your eyesight seems to be poor." Mohan: "How did you come to that conclusion?" Doctor: "You seemed to have missed noticing the sign, hung outside. This is a veterinary hospital."
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has 76.87 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: animal, doctor, health, hospital, life
When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach ad say "Congrats!". But none of them come and touch the man's Penis and say "Well done!". Moral: Hard work is never appreciated, only result matters...
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has 76.82 % from 250 votes. More jokes about: baby, life, management, work
Girls are always taking your hoodies but you take one of their dresses and suddenly they're all like "we need to talk."
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has 76.80 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: life
A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands. "Doctor," says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. "Will I be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?" "I don’t see why not," replies the doctor. "That’s funny," says the man. "I wasn’t able to play it before."
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has 76.80 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: doctor, hospital, life, music
Who was the fastest runner? Adam. He was first in the human race.
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has 76.80 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: athlete, life
A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly. The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out. You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France." The new man asked, "What happened?" "One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!"
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has 76.73 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: age, car, life, prison, women
I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.
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has 76.73 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: coding, computer, geek, IT, life
War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left.
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has 76.59 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, life, war
Two husbands were discussing their married lives. Although happily married, they admitted that there were arguments sometimes. Then Chad said, "I've made one great discovery. I now know how to always have the last word." "Wow!" said Sherm, "how did you manage that?" "It's easy," replied Chad. "My last word is always 'Yes, Dear.' "
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has 76.51 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: husband, life, marriage, wife
A lawyer was reading out the will of a rich man to the people mentioned in the will: "To you, my loving wife Rose, who stood by me in rough times, as well as good, I leave her the house and $2 million." The lawyer continued, "To my daughter Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave her the yacht, the business and $1 million." The lawyer concluded, "And, to my cousin Cowboy, who hated me, argued with me, and thought that I would never mention him in my will. Well you are wrong. Hi Cowboy!"
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has 76.51 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, life, love, money, wife
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