The best jokes about life

I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment about their mustache, and suddenly she is not your friend anymore...
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has 66.43 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: life
Life may not be worth living, but what else can you do with it?
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has 66.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: life
That awkward moment when you're about to hug someone sexy as hell and then you hit the mirror.
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has 66.28 % from 130 votes. More jokes about: life, sex
Guy gets pulled over in his car by a pair of dudes in balaclavas, pointing guns in his face. Terrorist (menacing voice): "Are you a Catholic or a Protestant?" Driver, panicking, doesn't know which answer will save his life, has a bright idea. Driver: "Neither, actually. In fact I'm Jewish." Terrorist shouts to other terrorist: "Fucking hell Abdul, we've got one at last!"
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has 66.17 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: car, jewish, life, religious, terrorist
Life is all about mind and matter - I don't mind and You don't matter...
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has 66.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: life
Now, that's gotta be a hell of a thing to go to jail for cable. You in there with mass murderers and everybody. "What you in here for?" "I killed six people. What you in here for?" "Comedy Central."
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: death, life, prison
Two hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their car. Another hunter approached pulling his along too. "Hey, I don’t want to tell you how to do something… but I can tell you that it’s much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won’t dig into the ground." After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it. A little while later one hunter said to the other, "You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!" "Yeah, but we’re getting farther from the truck," the other added.
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, hunting, life
Google is setting up a new search engine to answer life's difficult and most complex questions with the response always being the same... Chuck Norris.
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has 65.57 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, IT, life
A Ham sandwich walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food."
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has 65.52 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: bar, food, life
A preacher's wife goes to the butcher. The butcher asks if she'd like to try some damn ham. The preacher's wife is shocked. The butcher explains that "Dam Ham" is the brand name of the meat and shows her the packaging with the beaver and dam logo. That night, the preacher asks, "What's for dinner?" His wife says she bought some damn ham from the butcher. The preacher scolds his wife for using such language in their home. She explains the "Dam Ham brand name and their logo. At the dinner table, the preacher asks his 16-year-old son to pass him the "Dam Ham." The son replies, "I'll pass the damn ham if you pass me the muthaf**kin' mashed potatoes."
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has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: food, life, wife
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