The best jokes about life

Hilary Clinton, George Bush, Sarkozy, a boy and a monk were stuck on a plane that is falling fast. They are 5 but there are only 4 parachutes. Hilary said "I'm a woman, you cant leave a woman on a plane to die" so she took one and jumped. Bush said "I'm the smartest in the world, every one needs me" he took one and jumped. Sarkozy blabbed something in french that no one understood, he took one and jumped. The monk tells the boy "You take the last parachute, let me die" the boy said "Why? We can both jump." "How is that?" said the monk. The boy replies, "Because the so called smartest man Bush took my school bag and jumped!"
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has 63.67 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: airplane, life, political, school
This couple board this jetliner for a trip to New York. The jetliner gets full of passengers and they are to go but, they notice that there are no attendants or pilots. The door closes and the jetliner starts taxing down the taxiway towards the runway and starts to take off as they are airborne the intercom says: Welcome to flight 1313 non stop to New York as you can see there are no attendants and or pilots this aircraft is totally computerized so sit back and enjoy the flight because there is nothing that can go wrong go wrong go wrong go wrong ...
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: airplane, life
Q: What’s the definition of a pessimist? A: A pessimist is a well-informed optimist.
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: life
Grandma: "Why is that dumb piece of cotton candy talking." Me: "Grandma, thats Nikki Minaj."
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life
Sherlock Holmes dies and goes to Heaven. There is a brouhaha. Sherlock Holmes asks St. Peter what seems to be the problem. Apparently, Adam has gone 'walkabout' among all the souls. It will take ages to find him. Holmes tracks down Adam, very quickly. The Lord asks Holmes how he recognized Adam among the millions of souls, without ever having met him. "Elementary, my dear God, he has no navel."
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: death, god, heaven, life
Doctor: "And how is it going with your old ailment, Mr Smith?" Patient: "Very well, I've been divorced for half a year now."
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: divorce, doctor, life, relationship
My dick is too long and it causes some problems for me. On the other day when I with my girlfriend went to cinema suddenly I had an erection so that the shadow of my penis was reflected on the screen. Somebody from the corner shouted: "Mr bald sit down please we want to see the movie!"
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has 63.45 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, life
Chuck Norris is the meaning of life. Too bad he's also the meaning of death.
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has 63.43 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
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has 63.26 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, game, life
TV commercials now show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.
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has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: life
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