I may look calm, but in my mind I have killed you three times already.
If you can't say something nice, say it in French.
Cartoonist found dead in home.
Details are sketchy.
Big inspection on a build site/yard.
The boss tells the workers : what ever happens just act as usual.
The inspection committee were inspecting when a wall just colapses.
-(Worker looking at his watch) : 10:15, just on time
"Doctor I feel like biscuits!"
"What, you mean those square ones?"
"Yes!"
"The ones you put butter on?"
"Yes!"
"Well, that means you’re crackers!"
Did you hear about the guy they found dead with his head in his cornflakes?
The police thought it was a cereal killer.
Apparently Neil Armstrong use to tell unfunny jokes about the Moon, and followed them up with "Ah, I guess you had to be there."
How come the village Guy Fawkes won the Nobel Peace Prize?
Cause he was outstanding in his field.
Without you I can't breath.
I love you so much my nose.
Life is like a definite integral.
Integral from birthday to death ( LOVE ) dx = LIFE