The best jokes about life

What's a skunk's philosophy of life? Eat, stink and be merry.
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, life
My life may be a mess but I know the difference between "Your" & "You're"-
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: insulting, life, stupid
Q: What's the distinction between getting a divorce and getting circumcised? A: When you get a divorce, you dispose of the entire prick.
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: divorce, life
Q: Why are farmers cooler than Hipsters? A: Farmers can go a day without their Pitchfork
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: hipster, life, work
I may look calm, but in my mind I have killed you three times already.
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has 63.07 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: life
Life is a car wash … and I’m on a bicycle.
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: life
A Pontiac takes examinations for the driver’s licence for the fourth year in a row. The examiner asks him "So, you’re running on the street. You have a mountain on your right and there’s a cliff on your left. There are two women in your way; the one young and the other an old woman. Which one are you going to hit?" "Of course the old woman!" The examinet frustrated "I told you last year! You hit the brakes!"
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: age, car, life, old people, women
There's a rumor that Steve Jobs, has been a Buddhist, has been reincarnated as a factory worker on a sweatshop assembly line in China.
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, geography, life, technology, work
How many Wall Street protesters does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change a thing.
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has 62.93 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: life, light bulb
St Peter is standing at heaven's gate when a man walks up. "Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?" "I was a policeman," he responded. "What kind of policeman?" St Peter asked. "I was a vice officer. I kept dangerous narcotics out of the hands of kids." "Wonderful my son, welcome to heaven. Pass through the gates." A few moments later a second man walks up. "Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?" "I was a policeman," he responded. "What kind of policeman?" St Peter asked. "I was a traffic officer. I kept the roads and highways safe for travelers." "Well done. Pass through the gates into paradise." A few moments later a third man walks up. "Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?" "I was a policeman," he responded. "What kind of policeman?" St Peter asked. "I was a Military Policeman, Sir." "Excellent my son, I've gotta take a leak, watch the gate will ya?"
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has 62.88 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: cop, heaven, life
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