Q: What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath? A: Stinkerbell!
T. S. Eliot measured out his life with coffee spoons. Chuck Norris uses a backhoe.
Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard by choice, even the jaws of life can't cut it.
"Killed it" is a figure of speech implying someone stopped the banter. To Chuck Norris that's just the motto of his life.
Chuck Norris can strum your pain with his fingers, tell your whole life with his words – but mainly just kill you softly with his song.
The Highlander movie was actually based on Chuck Norris's life. There can be only one.
How many Mafia hitmen does it take to light the bonfire? Three, One to set fire to the effigy, one to watch his back, and one to shoot any witnesses.
Recently, I've been using the Bible for support. I've got a wobbly coffee table.
What Liberals & Conservatives Generally Do In Certain Situations If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one. If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed. If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't` eat meat. If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone. If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy. If a liberal sees a foreign threat, he wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good. If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh. A liberal will delete it because he's "offended".