Knock knock.
Who's there?
Déja.
Déja who?
Knock knock.
Vote:
Q: What's the distinction between getting a divorce and getting circumcised?
A: When you get a divorce, you dispose of the entire prick.
Q: The more you take the more you leave behind. What am I?
A: footsteps
If you can't say something nice, say it in French.
Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
A: He didn't have the guts!
Somebody stole my mood ring and I'm not quite sure how I feel about that..
Paddy got a job as a road line-painter.
He paints 5 miles on the first day, 2 miles on the second day and 1 on the third day.
"You get worse and worse every day!" yelled his boss.
"That is because the bucket gets further and further away every day." said Paddy.
Dentist (to the patient: "For God’s sake, stop making those noises and waving your arms. I haven’t even touched your tooth yet."
Patient: "Yes, I know. But u’re standing on my foot."
The doctor stood by the bedside of a very sick patient and said, “I cannot hide the fact that your are very ill, my man. Is there any one you would like to see?”.
“Yes,” replied the patient faintly, “Another doctor”.
Los Angeles Homeless...
Homeless people here are different.
You ever notice that?
Our homeless people are serious, man.
They have signs that not only say, "Will work for food," some of them have what they want: "Baked potato, salad, shrimp, sweet potato pie, sour chives."