The best jokes about life

10 Facts About You: 1. You're reading this now. 2. You're realizing that this is a stupid fact. 4. You didn't notice I skipped number 3. 5. You're checking now. 6. You're smiling. 7. You're still reading this even though it is stupid. 9. You didn't realize I skipped number 8. 10. You're checking again and smiling because you fell for it again. 11. You're enjoying this. 12. You didn't realize I said 10 facts not 12.
Vote: has 66.27 % from 73 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life
A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells "You should have been here at 8:30!" he replies: "Why? What happened at 8:30?"
Vote: has 66.16 % from 52 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life
Life is all about mind and matter - I don't mind and You don't matter...
Vote: has 66.10 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life
Now, that's gotta be a hell of a thing to go to jail for cable. You in there with mass murderers and everybody. "What you in here for?" "I killed six people. What you in here for?" "Comedy Central."
Vote: has 65.80 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, life, prison
Two hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their car. Another hunter approached pulling his along too. "Hey, I don’t want to tell you how to do something… but I can tell you that it’s much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won’t dig into the ground." After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it. A little while later one hunter said to the other, "You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!" "Yeah, but we’re getting farther from the truck," the other added.
Vote: has 65.80 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, death, hunting, life
A Ham sandwich walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food."
Vote: has 65.52 % from 44 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bar, food, life
A preacher's wife goes to the butcher. The butcher asks if she'd like to try some damn ham. The preacher's wife is shocked. The butcher explains that "Dam Ham" is the brand name of the meat and shows her the packaging with the beaver and dam logo. That night, the preacher asks, "What's for dinner?" His wife says she bought some damn ham from the butcher. The preacher scolds his wife for using such language in their home. She explains the "Dam Ham brand name and their logo. At the dinner table, the preacher asks his 16-year-old son to pass him the "Dam Ham." The son replies, "I'll pass the damn ham if you pass me the muthaf**kin' mashed potatoes."
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, life, wife
That awkward moment when somebody is doing dishes and you put another dish in the sink.
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life
Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: She will "let it go let it go".
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life, music
My yoga instructor says I need to work on my breathing. But I mean, 41 years, still alive. I kinda got it.
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, life, sport


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