The best jokes about life

Q: What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath? A: Stinkerbell!
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T. S. Eliot measured out his life with coffee spoons. Chuck Norris uses a backhoe.
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Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard by choice, even the jaws of life can't cut it.
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"Killed it" is a figure of speech implying someone stopped the banter. To Chuck Norris that's just the motto of his life.
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Chuck Norris can strum your pain with his fingers, tell your whole life with his words – but mainly just kill you softly with his song.
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The Highlander movie was actually based on Chuck Norris's life. There can be only one.
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How many Mafia hitmen does it take to light the bonfire? Three, One to set fire to the effigy, one to watch his back, and one to shoot any witnesses.
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Recently, I've been using the Bible for support. I've got a wobbly coffee table.
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What Liberals & Conservatives Generally Do In Certain Situations If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one. If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed. If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't` eat meat. If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone. If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy. If a liberal sees a foreign threat, he wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good. If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh. A liberal will delete it because he's "offended".
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More jokes about: life