The best jokes about life

I may look calm, but in my mind I have killed you three times already.
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has 62.91 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: life
Knock Knock. Who's there? Opportunity. Don't be silly - opportunity doesn't knock twice!
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has 62.90 % from 159 votes. More jokes about: knock-knock, life
About 4,000 years ago: God: "I shall create a great plague and every living thing on Earth will die!" Fish: *Winks at God and slips him a $20 note* God: "Correction, I shall create a great flood!"
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has 62.88 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: death, god, life, money, time
Now, that's gotta be a hell of a thing to go to jail for cable. You in there with mass murderers and everybody. "What you in here for?" "I killed six people. What you in here for?" "Comedy Central."
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has 62.88 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: death, life, prison
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.
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has 62.88 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: funeral, life
Q: Why do Republicans avoid living on the West Coast? A: They're scared to live that close to the edge of the Earth.
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has 62.82 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: geography, life, republican
Terrorists take a group of lawyers hostage. They ask for a ransom of $20 million and threaten to release one lawyer at a time if not given what they ask for.
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has 62.74 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, life, money, terrorist, time
Chuck Norris is the meaning of life. Too bad he's also the meaning of death.
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has 62.74 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life
Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry? A: Never lick the spoon!
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has 62.69 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, life
If you majored in fine arts or philosophy, you have good reason to be worried. The only place you are now really qualified to get a job is in Ancient Greece.
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has 62.63 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: graduation, life, school, work
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