The best jokes about life

A zebra has wondered his whole life whether he was a white zebra with black stripes or a black zebra with white stripes. When he dies and goes to heaven he asks God the question "Am I a white zebra with black stripes or a black zebra with white stripes?" God responds, "You are what you are" The zebra goes to his friends and tells them what God had said and that he still doesn't know the answer to his question. One of his friends says, "Well, that means you are a white zebra with black stripes" The zebra asks him why and the friend says, "Because otherwise God would have said 'You is what you is'"
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has 64.51 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: animal, god, life, racist
Life is like a box of chocolates: A lot of people can't stand the dark ones.
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has 64.42 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: food, life, racist
Google is setting up a new search engine to answer life's difficult and most complex questions with the response always being the same... Chuck Norris.
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has 64.34 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, IT, life
Always be yourself! Unless you can be Batman - then always be Batman
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: life
Q: What's in the wardrobe? A: Narnia business.
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: business, life
A lady buys some new furniture at Ikea. She reads the instuctions and builds the wardrobe. As soon as it"s built she a bus passes by and the wardrobe falls into pieces. The lady tries again and 5 minutes later another bus passes by and the wardrobe falls into pieces. The lady is furious and calls Ikea. Ikea tell her that they will send a worker to build it. When the worker arrives he builds the wardrobe and says: "Ok, I"m going to my next client." To which the lady says: "NO! Wait! You"ll see, as soon as a bus comes by it will dismantle itself..." The man agrees to stay to wait for the bus. After a while the man says that he better get in the wardrobe to see where the problem is when the bus passes by, to which the lady agrees. 10 minutes later the husband arrives and say"s: "Ahh lovely honey you bought us a new wardrobe..." He opens it up and say"s: "SIR! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" To which the worker replies: "I"m waiting for the bus!"
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: life
Two eggs were kissing on a bed when the female egg said, "I have to go change. I'll be back in a minute." Five minutes later, the the female egg walked out in a slinky "egg"lige, rubbing her hands up and down her smooth, oval-shaped body. Instantly, the male egg slapped his hands on the top of his head, covering it completely. "What are you doing?," the female egg asked. He replied, "The last time I was this hard, someone cracked me on the head with a spoon."
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: food, life, time
Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen tanks when scuba diving. He simply sucks all the life out of the ocean to breath.
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
How do you describe an angry potato? Boiling Mad.
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: food, life
Q: Why is marriage not a word? A: It's a lifelong incarceration!
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: life, marriage, prison, time
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