The best jokes about life

Q:Did you hear the joke about the rope? A:Just skip it.
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: life
A man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. He tells to the shepherd: "I will bet you 100 € against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock." The shepherd thinks it over; it’s a big flock so he takes the bet. "973," says the man. The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right. Says "OK, I’m a man of my word, take an animal." Man picks one up and begins to walk away. "Wait," cries the shepherd, "Let me have a chance to get even. Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation." Man says sure. "You are an economist for a government think tank" says the shepherd. "You are exactly right!" responds the man, "but tell me, how did you deduce that?" "Well," says the shepherd, "put down the dog and I will tell you."
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: life
Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard by choice, even the jaws of life can't cut it.
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
"Killed it" is a figure of speech implying someone stopped the banter. To Chuck Norris that's just the motto of his life.
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life
A French guest, staying in a hotel called room service for some pepper. "Black pepper, or white pepper?" asked the concierge. "Toilette pepper!" came the reply
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: food, life
In 1996, Florida physical therapist Paul Shimkonis sued his local nudie bar claiming whiplash from a lap dancer's large breasts. Shimkonis felt he suffered physical harm and mental anguish from the breasts, which he claimed felt like "cement blocks" hitting him. Shimkonis sought justice in the amount of $15,000, which was denied.
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: health, life, money
A woman goes to a doctor, doctor, I'm tired of life, want to finish my life, what is best to kill myself? The doctor says: "Should yourself 5 cm under your breast, you will be dead!" 2 weeks later, woman back at doctors, what happened? I shot myself into my knee.
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life, medical, time, women
If you can't say something nice, say it in French.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: life
Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: life
Q: If Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood and Bill Clinton participated in a spelling contest, who would win? A: Dan Quayle. He's the only one who knows that "harass" is one word.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life
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