The best jokes about life

Jenna, Jessica and ariana die. They all go to heaven and GOD says, "You can do whatever you want, just don't step on a pink cloud". The first day, Jenna goes out and comes back with a ugly guy. Jessica and Ariana ask, "what happen?". Jenna says, "I stepped on a pink cloud". The next day, Jessica goes out, she comes back with a ugly guy. Jenna and Ariana ask, "what happen?". Jessica says, "I stepped on a pink cloud". The following day Araina goes out and comes back with a HOTT guy, blue eyes, thin and tall. Jenna and jessica ask, "What happen?" The guy says, "I stepped on a pink cloud".
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has 62.63 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: death, god, heaven, life, ugly
A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: life, teen
This old guy goes into a church in a small town in the hills of Italy and asks the priest to hear his confession. The priest listens and then asks, "Is there anything else?" The old guy says, "During the war, when I was young, a beautiful Germam girl came to my farm after escaping and asked me if I would hide her. I told her I would if she provided me with sexual favors." The priest replies, "Don't worry about it. It was wartime and you both were under a lot of pressure." The old guy says, "Does that mean that I have to tell her that the war is over?"
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has 62.39 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: church, life, priest, sex, war
A: What does "IDK" mean? B: I don't know. A: Ugh! Nobody does!
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has 62.26 % from 130 votes. More jokes about: life
No! You don't have "Bad luck". You have low IQ and you make bad decisions.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: insulting, life, stupid
A Mormon Family, one Monday evening, sat around the fire place and was discussing Church Finances, that included paying Tithing to the Bishop. Their little five year old boy heard this, than ran to his bedroom, grabbed his piggy bank, went to the Mormon Bishop's home and poured the contents of the piggy bank onto the Bishop's desk. The Bishop asked, "Is this your tithing?" the little boy said, "No Bishop." The Bishop than asked him, "Is this your Fast Offering?" The little boy again said, "No Bishop." The Mormon Bishop had a puzzeled look about him, and than asked, "If this is not your tithing or not your Fast Offering, than What is it?" The little boy said, "It's for you, Bishop, Mommy and Daddy just told me that you are the poorest Bishop that we have had."
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: church, family, life
Patient: "May I have a glass of water, doctor." Doctor: "Are you thirsty?" Patient: "No… I just wanted to check whether my throat leaks."
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life
Nothing beats a woman with a beautiful singing voice. Except for Chris Brown.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: beauty, celebrity, life, music, women
I went to the psychiatrist, and he says "You're crazy." I tell him I want a second opinion. He says, "Okay, you're ugly too!"
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: life
Two politician are having lunch together, all of a sudden one stood up and shouted, "Your lying." The other replied, "I know but just hear me out."
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: life, political
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