The best jokes about life

How many Wall Street protesters does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change a thing.
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has 62.43 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: life, light bulb
Q: Why do Republicans avoid living on the West Coast? A: They're scared to live that close to the edge of the Earth.
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has 62.43 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: geography, life, republican
Patient goes to Doctor, doctor starts looking at him... - Good, good, good... - Doctor, what's good? - Good that I don't have what you have...
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: doctor, health, life
Doctor (to the patient: "Did I not give you the medicine yesterday? Did you take it?" Patient: "Yes, sir. But I did not drink it." Doctor: "Why?" Patient (Pointing to the bottle): "Because it is written on the label: 'Close the cork tightly and keep it in a cool place.'"
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: drug, health, life
What did the Zen Buddist say to the hotdog vendor? Make me one with everything.
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has 62.19 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: life
A couple of blonde men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the blonde men walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos." The clerk said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?" The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck. He returned a minute later and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours." "All right. How long do you need them?" The customer paused for a minute and said, "I'd better go check." After a while, the customer returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're gonna build a house."
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: blonde, life, time
I read that India launched a rocket to Mars the other day. That seems like a strange place to put a call center.
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: life
An Avon Lady was delivering products in a high-rise and was riding in the elevator. Suddenly, she had the powerful urge to fart. Since no one was in the elevator, she let it go - and it was a doozy. Of course, the elevator then stopped at the next floor, so she quickly used some Avon Pine-Scented Spray to cover up the smell. A man entered the elevator and immediately made a face. "Holy cow! What's that smell?" "I don't know, sir. I don't smell anything. What does it smell like to you?" "Like someone crapped a Christmas tree."
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has 61.91 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: business, Christmas, fart, life
What does a British potato say when it thinks something is wonderful? It's mashing!
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has 61.89 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: food, life, racist
About 4,000 years ago: God: "I shall create a great plague and every living thing on Earth will die!" Fish: *Winks at God and slips him a $20 note* God: "Correction, I shall create a great flood!"
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has 61.89 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: death, god, life, money, time
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