The best jokes about life

I read that India launched a rocket to Mars the other day. That seems like a strange place to put a call center.
Vote:
has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: life
Terrorists take a group of lawyers hostage. They ask for a ransom of $20 million and threaten to release one lawyer at a time if not given what they ask for.
Vote:
has 62.10 % from 109 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, life, money, terrorist, time
This old guy goes into a church in a small town in the hills of Italy and asks the priest to hear his confession. The priest listens and then asks, "Is there anything else?" The old guy says, "During the war, when I was young, a beautiful Germam girl came to my farm after escaping and asked me if I would hide her. I told her I would if she provided me with sexual favors." The priest replies, "Don't worry about it. It was wartime and you both were under a lot of pressure." The old guy says, "Does that mean that I have to tell her that the war is over?"
Vote:
has 61.91 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: church, life, priest, sex, war
An Avon Lady was delivering products in a high-rise and was riding in the elevator. Suddenly, she had the powerful urge to fart. Since no one was in the elevator, she let it go - and it was a doozy. Of course, the elevator then stopped at the next floor, so she quickly used some Avon Pine-Scented Spray to cover up the smell. A man entered the elevator and immediately made a face. "Holy cow! What's that smell?" "I don't know, sir. I don't smell anything. What does it smell like to you?" "Like someone crapped a Christmas tree."
Vote:
has 61.91 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: business, Christmas, fart, life
About 4,000 years ago: God: "I shall create a great plague and every living thing on Earth will die!" Fish: *Winks at God and slips him a $20 note* God: "Correction, I shall create a great flood!"
Vote:
has 61.89 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: death, god, life, money, time
A: What does "IDK" mean? B: I don't know. A: Ugh! Nobody does!
Vote:
has 61.78 % from 108 votes. More jokes about: life
Jenna, Jessica and ariana die. They all go to heaven and GOD says, "You can do whatever you want, just don't step on a pink cloud". The first day, Jenna goes out and comes back with a ugly guy. Jessica and Ariana ask, "what happen?". Jenna says, "I stepped on a pink cloud". The next day, Jessica goes out, she comes back with a ugly guy. Jenna and Ariana ask, "what happen?". Jessica says, "I stepped on a pink cloud". The following day Araina goes out and comes back with a HOTT guy, blue eyes, thin and tall. Jenna and jessica ask, "What happen?" The guy says, "I stepped on a pink cloud".
Vote:
has 61.71 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: death, god, heaven, life, ugly
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.
Vote:
has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life
Knock knock. Who's there? Déja. Déja who? Knock knock.
Vote:
has 61.40 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: knock-knock, life, memory
Life is like a box of chocolates: A lot of people can't stand the dark ones.
Vote:
has 61.33 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: food, life, racist
<<<50515253
More jokes →
Page 50 of 82.