T. S. Eliot measured out his life with coffee spoons. Chuck Norris uses a backhoe.
Chuck Norris can strum your pain with his fingers, tell your whole life with his words – but mainly just kill you softly with his song.
The Highlander movie was actually based on Chuck Norris's life. There can be only one.
How many Mafia hitmen does it take to light the bonfire? Three, One to set fire to the effigy, one to watch his back, and one to shoot any witnesses.
John: "Hey can I borrow some money? I'm broke." Michael: "Get money from your job." John: "I got fired." Michael: "Why?" John: "My boss told me to leave all my problems behind the door, so I told him to stand outside." Michael: "This is why we are friends."
Q: What’s the definition of a pessimist? A: A pessimist is a well-informed optimist.
Men are born between the legs of women and spend all their life trying to get back between them. Why? Theres no place like home ...
Womens are like computer virus... they ENTER your life... SEARCH your pocket... SHIFT your balance ... CONTROL your life... when you become an old version DELET you from the system
What did the blanket say to the bed? Don't worry Ive got you covered!
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."