The best jokes about life

Los Angeles Homeless... Homeless people here are different. You ever notice that? Our homeless people are serious, man. They have signs that not only say, "Will work for food," some of them have what they want: "Baked potato, salad, shrimp, sweet potato pie, sour chives."
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: food, life, work
My life may be a mess but I know the difference between "Your" & "You're"-
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: insulting, life, stupid
After losing his fortune, a Texas oilman decided to spend his last twenty bucks at a whorehouse. He entered and promptly went up to the Madam and asked her what he could get for $20. The Madam gave him a lengthy stare and told him to go upstairs, last door on the left. He proceeded to march up the stairs and entered the room. To his shock and pleasure he saw a beautiful blonde waiting naked on the bed. So he tore off his clothes and jumped on and started pumping away for dear life. Upon orgasm he noticed that stuff started oozing out of her eyeballs. He runs down to the Madam to report this and she looks at him turns around and yells, "Hey Charlie....... The dead one's full again!"
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has 61.28 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, disgusting, life, money
Q: Why is marriage not a word? A: It's a lifelong incarceration!
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: life, marriage, prison, time
Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: She will "let it go let it go".
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has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: life, music
If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over! To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"! If you needed a break from life, click on suspend. Hit "any key" to continue life when ready. To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster. To add/remove someone in your life, click settings and control panel. To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings. If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers. When you loose your car keys, click on find. "Help" with the chores is just a click away. Auto insurance wouldn't be necessary. You would use your diskette to recover from a crash. And, we could click on "SEND NOW" and a Pizza would be on it's way to you.
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has 60.69 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: car, IT, life
Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry? A: Never lick the spoon!
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has 60.67 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, life
Q:Did you hear the joke about the rope? A:Just skip it.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: life
Patient: "May I have a glass of water, doctor." Doctor: "Are you thirsty?" Patient: "No… I just wanted to check whether my throat leaks."
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life
A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells "You should have been here at 8:30!" he replies: "Why? What happened at 8:30?"
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has 60.35 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: life
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