The best jokes about life

A French guest, staying in a hotel called room service for some pepper. "Black pepper, or white pepper?" asked the concierge. "Toilette pepper!" came the reply
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The only Christmas present Chuck Norris ever gives is allowing you to live.
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I'm trying to write a joke about overdosing on cocaine. But I need a line to end it.
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Q: If Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood and Bill Clinton participated in a spelling contest, who would win? A: Dan Quayle. He's the only one who knows that "harass" is one word.
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Somebody stole my mood ring and I'm not quite sure how I feel about that..
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Q:Why is a doctor always calm. A: Because it has a lot of patients.
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"Doctor I feel like biscuits!" "What, you mean those square ones?" "Yes!" "The ones you put butter on?" "Yes!" "Well, that means you’re crackers!"
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Pawn Stars: Man: "Can I have change for a dollar?" Rick: "Best I can do is 75 cents."
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Stevie Wonder recently told his wife that he wants to see other people.
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Apparently Neil Armstrong use to tell unfunny jokes about the Moon, and followed them up with "Ah, I guess you had to be there."
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