A French guest, staying in a hotel called room service for some pepper. "Black pepper, or white pepper?" asked the concierge. "Toilette pepper!" came the reply
The only Christmas present Chuck Norris ever gives is allowing you to live.
I'm trying to write a joke about overdosing on cocaine. But I need a line to end it.
Q: If Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood and Bill Clinton participated in a spelling contest, who would win? A: Dan Quayle. He's the only one who knows that "harass" is one word.
Somebody stole my mood ring and I'm not quite sure how I feel about that..
Q:Why is a doctor always calm. A: Because it has a lot of patients.
"Doctor I feel like biscuits!" "What, you mean those square ones?" "Yes!" "The ones you put butter on?" "Yes!" "Well, that means you’re crackers!"
Pawn Stars: Man: "Can I have change for a dollar?" Rick: "Best I can do is 75 cents."
Stevie Wonder recently told his wife that he wants to see other people.
Apparently Neil Armstrong use to tell unfunny jokes about the Moon, and followed them up with "Ah, I guess you had to be there."