The best jokes about life

Q: Why do Republicans avoid living on the West Coast? A: They're scared to live that close to the edge of the Earth.
Vote: has 61.63 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: geography, life, republican
What did the Zen Buddist say to the hotdog vendor? Make me one with everything.
Vote: has 61.43 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
Funny Lists: Eight ways to say "Your Fly Is Open" 1. The cucumber has left the salad. 2. You've got Windows in your laptop. 3. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position. 4. Your pod bay door is open, Hal. 5. The Buick is not all the way in the garage. 6. Sailor Ned is trying to take a little shore leave. 7. You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones. 8. Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod.
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
-How is Ruth? -Not sure. I broke up with her last month. -Oh no. You're so Ruthless. -And how long have you been waiting to use that? -I'd rather not say.
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More jokes about: life
Two lawyers had been life long friends: they were partners and shared everything, including their hot-blooded secretary. One day the secretary announced she was pregnant. They told her not to worry and assured her that they would pay all medical costs and would act as co-fathers when the child was born and provide all expenses thereafter. The day of delivery arrived. Both the lawyers were at the hospital pacing the floor in the waiting room. Finally one of them said, “I can’t take this, I’m going down to sit in my car and wait there. Please come down and tell me as soon as the child is born!” The partner agreed to do that. About an hour later the partner approached the car with a very grave look on his face. “What happened?” asked the waiting car occupant. The other partner announced, “They were twins and mine died!”
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More jokes about: car, death, hospital, lawyer, life
Religion is a lot more like politics. The only difference is that with religion you get to confess your own sins.
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More jokes about: life, political, religious
Friendly reminder that Adele and Taylor Swift are the same age, yet one is pregnant and another stuck in middle school.
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More jokes about: age, celebrity, kids, life, music
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.
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More jokes about: funeral, life
A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were getting ready to go out on dates. The first beau came to the door and said, "I'm Eddie, I'm here to pick up Betty. We're going for spaghetti, is she ready?" No. The second beau came to the door and said, "I'm Joe, I'm here to pick up Flo to take her to the show. Is she ready to go?" No. The third beau came to the door and said to the farmer. "Hello, my name is Chuck." The farmer shot Chuck.
Vote: has 61.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, dating, food, life
If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over! To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"! If you needed a break from life, click on suspend. Hit "any key" to continue life when ready. To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster. To add/remove someone in your life, click settings and control panel. To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings. If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers. When you loose your car keys, click on find. "Help" with the chores is just a click away. Auto insurance wouldn't be necessary. You would use your diskette to recover from a crash. And, we could click on "SEND NOW" and a Pizza would be on it's way to you.
Vote: has 60.75 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, IT, life