The best jokes about life

What are two things a black man can't get in a fist fight. A black eye, and a swollen lip.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: life
What do you call hemorrhoids on a fag? Speed bumps.
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has 56.76 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: gay, life
A golfer walks into the clubhouse of the local country club. He tells the golf pro behind the counter that he wants to do 18 and he is going to need a caddy. The golf pro informs him that the country club is running a promotion and if he tries out one of their experimental robot caddies, he can golf for free. The golfer agrees and takes out the robot. While on the golf course the robot caddy tells the golfer the wind speed, distance, even how hard to hit which club. He has the best game of his life. The next time the golfer goes to the country club, he tells the golf pro that he wants to do 18 holes and that he wants to get one of the robot caddies. He informs the golfer that they don't have the robot caddies anymore. The golfer, all upset, tells him how great they were and asks him what happened. The golf pro tells him that members were complaining that the sun would reflect of their metallic material and into their eyes. The golfer asks him why they didn't just paint the robots black? The golf pro said that they did paint them into black robot caddies, but the next day, 3 of them didn't show up and the other 3 robbed the pro shop.
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has 56.07 % from 160 votes. More jokes about: black humor, game, golf, life
Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen tanks when scuba diving. He simply sucks all the life out of the ocean to breath.
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
What do you call a truck full of dildos? Toys for Twats.
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has 55.93 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: car, gay, life, masturbation
Life is like a definite integral. Integral from birthday to death ( LOVE ) dx = LIFE
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has 55.57 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: life, love, math, nerd
Jake was watching vigilantly at his dying wife's side. "Sleep now, it's all right," he told her. But she kept trying to sit up and said, "Honey, I really need to tell you something." Finally Jake let her get it off her chest. "Jake, honey, I need to tell you something before I die. During the last two months, I slept with your brother, your best friend and your father." "Don't worry about it," Jake said, "I already know. Why do you think I poisoned you?"
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has 55.51 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: death, life, wife
I got 99 problems and being upside down ain't one. Ok wait I got 66 problems.
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has 55.51 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: life, math
A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl. One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses... one for each year of her life. That evening he called the local florist and ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that they be delivered first thing the next morning. As the florist was preparing the order, he decided that since the young man was such a good customer, he would put an extra dozen roses in the bouquet. The fellow never did find out what made the young girl so angry with him.
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has 55.44 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: beauty, birthday, life, love, marriage
Google is setting up a new search engine to answer life's difficult and most complex questions with the response always being the same... Chuck Norris.
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has 55.37 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, IT, life
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