Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us.
The only difference is, then he kills people.
A son and the dad are walking around on the streets.
The dad stops the son and says, "Son, if you don't stop masturbating, you are going to go blind."
The son says, "Dad! I'm over here!"
I went to the psychiatrist, and he says "You're crazy."
I tell him I want a second opinion.
He says, "Okay, you're ugly too!"
What did the blanket say to the bed?
Don't worry Ive got you covered!
Did you hear about that music composer who commited suicide?
He didn't even leave a note.
To be or not to be?
That is the question.
The answer?
Chuck Norris.
A man was drowning and asked God to help him.
A boat came by wanting to help the man.
The man refused and said that God would save him.
The man drowned and went to heaven.
He asked God why didn't you save me. God responded, "I sent a boat to get you and you did not get on."
Mary's father has 5 daughters,
1. Nana
2. Nono
3. Nini
4. Nene
What is the fifth daughters name?
Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry?
A: Never lick the spoon!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Déja.
Déja who?
Knock knock.