The best jokes about life

A man was drowning and asked God to help him. A boat came by wanting to help the man. The man refused and said that God would save him. The man drowned and went to heaven. He asked God why didn't you save me. God responded, "I sent a boat to get you and you did not get on."
Vote:
has 58.99 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: god, life
Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry? A: Never lick the spoon!
Vote:
has 58.98 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, life
Knock knock. Who's there? Déja. Déja who? Knock knock.
Vote:
has 58.98 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: knock-knock, life, memory
Knock, knock! Who's there? Opportunity! That is impossible. Opportunity doesn't come knocking twice!
Vote:
has 58.87 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: knock-knock, life
A social worker is facing a mugger with a gun. "Your money or your life!" says the mugger. "I'm sorry," the social worker answers, "I am a social worker, so I have no money and no life."
Vote:
has 58.77 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: life, money, work
Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in the way that they are looking forward to it.
Vote:
has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: life
How do you know when an Asian breaks into your home? Your house is clean, your computer is fixed, and their still pulling out of your driveway.
Vote:
has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: computer, life
Is Snoop serious? Or is Snoop Lion?
Vote:
has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, life, music
The first half of life if ruined by your parents, the second by your kids.
Vote:
has 58.58 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: life
A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were getting ready to go out on dates. The first beau came to the door and said, "I'm Eddie, I'm here to pick up Betty. We're going for spaghetti, is she ready?" No. The second beau came to the door and said, "I'm Joe, I'm here to pick up Flo to take her to the show. Is she ready to go?" No. The third beau came to the door and said to the farmer. "Hello, my name is Chuck." The farmer shot Chuck.
Vote:
has 58.58 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dating, food, life
<<<60616263
More jokes →
Page 60 of 81.