The best jokes about life

There was no Big Bang. Chuck Norris arm wrestled himself and the energy produced created the universe.
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has 36.45 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life, science
‘Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. They lay there and looked at each other. Their families came and took them away. Eighty years later, by a bizarre coincidence, they lay in the same hospital, on their deathbeds, next to each other. One of them looked at the other and said, “So, what did you think?”’ Steven Wright
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has 35.73 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: life
Q:Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm the school bell. A: Take These tablets and if they don't work give me a ring in the morning.
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life, school, work
One night, there was a knock on my door... i open it and no one was there every night I would get the same knock and still no one was there... Untill the morning I was just making myself some tea as a person knocks on my door it was a black man he walk in and stole my tea .... i said to myself did he just mug me .... I still didn't know who was knocking on the doors at night Untill one night I opened my door and there was a floating mug I was still confused.
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has 35.61 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: knock-knock, life
Always be yourself, unless you can be Chuck Norris, then always be Chuck Norris.
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has 35.32 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
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has 35.29 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, death, life, technology
I went down the local supermarket, I said, ''I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it'', he said, "Those are pickled onions'
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has 35.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: life
What has a head, a tail, and no body? A coin!
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has 35.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: life
Q: Who hangs out with musicians but isn't a musician? A: Drummers.
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has 35.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: life, music
One day a government worker was digging through his office drawers when suddenly he came upon a magic lamp. (Oh, c'mon, I'm sure there's one buried in your desk too.) Since he'd heard these jokes before, he knew that he had to rub the lamp and make the genie come out. So he rubbed the lamp and - oh, surprise out popped a genie. The genie asked, as genies will, "What is your first wish?" The government worker thought about it for a second, then replied, "I would like to be rich!" So the genie granted him his wish, and poof the man was surrounded by piles of money rivaling the heaps of even Martha Stewart and Bill Gates. Since the government worker knew the whole wish process, the genie didn't even have to ask for number two before he said, "My second wish is to be on an island with beautiful women surrounding me and obeying my every command!" And poof, he was there. Then the government worker or, as I like to call him, civil servant decided on his third wish, "I don't want to do any work ever again!" and poof ubiquitous ironic twist he was back in his office.
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has 34.61 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: genie, life, money, political, work
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