The best jokes about life

I know a lady who blew her man's jimmy off because he wanted to be down with O.P.P. Now he down with No P.P.
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: life
Q:Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm the school bell. A: Take These tablets and if they don't work give me a ring in the morning.
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life, school, work
I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist.
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has 39.42 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: life
McNally was taking his first plane ride, flying over the Rocky Mountains. The stewardess handed him a piece of chewing gum. "It’s to keep your ears from popping at high altitudes," she explains. When the plane landed McNally rushed up to her. "Miss," he said, "I’m meetin’ me wife right away. How do I get the gum out of me ears?" Kelly was standing in front of Cohan’s Tavern when he saw a driverless car rolling slowly down the street. He ran to the car, jumped in, and pulled on the emergency brake with a jerk. Kelly got out and very proudly said to the man approaching him, "I stopped it!" "I know, you idiot!" said the man. "I was pushing it!"
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has 39.32 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: airplane, life, weather, wife
I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said, "Are you two an item?"
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has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: life
‘I’ve found the secret of eternal youth. I lie about my age.’ Bob Hope How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.
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has 37.27 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: life
An old man tells his psychiatrist that he is already very old and he has committed during his life many sins. The psychiatrist wanted to help him, so he has asked him: "And how long are you with your wife?" The man answered: "45 years." The psychiatrist said: "Don´t have the fear, because after your death you will be surely added to the sufferers, sleep well."
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has 37.27 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life, marriage, old people, time
Air traffic controller: "Flight 1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees." Airline pilot: "But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?" Air Traffic controller: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 737?"
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has 37.02 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: airplane, life, travel
I used to hate weddings, all the old ladies would prod me and say "you'll be next!" They soon stopped that, when I started saying it to them at funerals !
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has 36.75 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: funeral, life, wedding
What's the fastest thing in the world? A beer truck driving through an Indian reserve. What's the second fastest thing in the world? The Indians running after it.
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has 35.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: beer, life
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