Q: Why did Mexico send only a couple thousand Mexicans to fight in the Alamo? A: Because they only had 4 trucks.
How do you know which one is your boss from a crowd of 500 people? You say: “My boss is a stupidest asshole!”
Q: What gets wetter the more it dries? A: A towel.
One spelling mistake can destroy your life! A husband wrote a message to his wife on his official trip and forgot to add 'e' at the end of a word: "I am having such a wonderful time! Wish you were her..!"
Baby, at midnight we celebrate one year from the last time you kissed me. Look how time files!
Doc, isn't it harmful to drink a shot before eating? No it's not, if you don't eat too often..
Why did the Viking buy an old boat? Because he couldn't afjord a new one!
There once was two people Lisa and Brian They got married and had a child. The only problem was that the child was only a head, he had no arms, legs or torso. So all his life he was picked on and teased and he always wished he had a body. So when he turned 21 his dad took him to a bar and let him have his first beer ever. When he drank a whole bottle an arm popped out. When he drank more bottles more body parts popped out. After drinking many beers he finally had a whole body. As they left the bar, he was very drunk and was hit by a bus and he died. The moral of the story "Quit while you're a head."
The old woman comes to a gynecologist. He inspects her and says with the surprice: An old woman, you're pregnant! How did you managed at your age...? Oh, those teens. They always asks to tell them everything, then show and give to try...
How do you get a Michigan girl into an elevator? Grease her hips, and throw in a Twinkie.