The best jokes about life

A man goes to his doctor after losing a lot of weight. "I feel great, but I have a problem, doctor. I was so fat beforehand that my skin has stretched and stayed that long. Is there anything you can give me?" "Hmm, short of plastic surgery, there is only one alternative. Please take off your clothes." The man strips down. The doctor pulls all his skin upwards and ties it in a ball above his head. "But doctor -- now my navel is in the middle of my forehead!" "True," replies the doctor, "and you should see what you have for a collar and tie."
Vote: has 41.83 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life
Another one was: Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked. 'It's not unusual' he replied.
Vote: has 40.09 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life
Yo' Mama is so uptight, you need the jaws of life to part her legs.
Vote: has 39.90 % from 9 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life, Yo mama
An old man tells his psychiatrist that he is already very old and he has committed during his life many sins. The psychiatrist wanted to help him, so he has asked him: "And how long are you with your wife?" The man answered: "45 years." The psychiatrist said: "Don´t have the fear, because after your death you will be surely added to the sufferers, sleep well."
Vote: has 39.50 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, life, marriage, old people, time
I know a lady who blew her man's jimmy off because he wanted to be down with O.P.P. Now he down with No P.P.
Vote: has 39.47 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life
Q:Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm the school bell. A: Take These tablets and if they don't work give me a ring in the morning.
Vote: has 39.47 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, life, school, work
The Dove Bar's like an 80-pound wad of chocolate on a toothpick. If you're not careful when you take it out of the package, you'll snap your wrists.
Vote: has 39.47 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: chocolate, life
I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist.
Vote: has 38.99 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life
I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said, "Are you two an item?"
Vote: has 37.61 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life
‘I’ve found the secret of eternal youth. I lie about my age.’ Bob Hope How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.
Vote: has 37.27 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life


<<<76777879
More jokes →
Page 76 of 80.