The best jokes about life

‘Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. They lay there and looked at each other. Their families came and took them away. Eighty years later, by a bizarre coincidence, they lay in the same hospital, on their deathbeds, next to each other. One of them looked at the other and said, “So, what did you think?”’ Steven Wright
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has 34.25 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: life
What's the fastest thing in the world? A beer truck driving through an Indian reserve. What's the second fastest thing in the world? The Indians running after it.
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has 34.13 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: beer, life
You know what I was thinking about right now? What it would be like to have six fingers....high fives would be different.
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has 33.86 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: life
Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were all real at one time... then they met Chuck. There can only be 1 living legend.
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has 33.76 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, easter, life, Santa
Chuck Norris is not cool. By saying that, I have decreased my life to 5 seco...
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has 33.50 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
"What are you doing there?" "I'm making something." "What are you making?" "A bomb." "Can I help?" "Impossible. It's a nuclear one..."
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has 33.28 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: life, science, work
Bruce Lee didn't die from an allergic reaction. He died cause Chuck Norris decided to not let him live anymore.
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has 32.30 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, death, health, life
A teenage boy overdosed on ten bottles of Viagra. Not only is he lucky to be alive, he’s lucky not to have taken his eye out.
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has 32.13 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: life, sex, teen, viagra
A blonde goes horseback riding for the first time in her life, she's never had any prior lessons or training. As soon as her bottom hits the saddle, the horse gallops away. Immediately the girl realizes she's not in the saddle correctly and she does everything she can to stay on the horse, she pulls on the horse's mane, she grabs the saddle ... but she realizes it's no use. Finally she decides the best thing to do is to jump clear of the horse but as she does this, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup and she is dragged by the horse. Her head is hitting the ground ... thump ... thump ... thump ... over and over again. Just as she is about to lose consciousness ..... the store manager runs out and unplugs the horse!
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has 31.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: blonde, customer service, horse, life
In the town I have met one older woman, she told me: "if you give me ten euros, I will pray for your black soul." I gave her the ten euros, became suspicious, didn't believe her and told her: "ok, but pray for me right now, not in the evening." The woman has begun: "guardian angel, please, take care of my soul, forgive me all my sins and give me everything I need in my life." I have asked her only: "for my money?"
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has 31.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: life, money, old people, religious
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