The best jokes about life

One day a government worker was digging through his office drawers when suddenly he came upon a magic lamp. (Oh, c'mon, I'm sure there's one buried in your desk too.) Since he'd heard these jokes before, he knew that he had to rub the lamp and make the genie come out. So he rubbed the lamp and - oh, surprise out popped a genie. The genie asked, as genies will, "What is your first wish?" The government worker thought about it for a second, then replied, "I would like to be rich!" So the genie granted him his wish, and poof the man was surrounded by piles of money rivaling the heaps of even Martha Stewart and Bill Gates. Since the government worker knew the whole wish process, the genie didn't even have to ask for number two before he said, "My second wish is to be on an island with beautiful women surrounding me and obeying my every command!" And poof, he was there. Then the government worker or, as I like to call him, civil servant decided on his third wish, "I don't want to do any work ever again!" and poof ubiquitous ironic twist he was back in his office.
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has 34.61 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: genie, life, money, political, work
You ever accidentally go up to a real big fat person, and you accidentally ask them for a good place to eat? And they look at you and say they don't know. And you're looking at them, like, 'You do know. I bet if I follow you for an hour, we gonna be eatin'.
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has 34.40 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: life
A teenage boy overdosed on ten bottles of Viagra. Not only is he lucky to be alive, he’s lucky not to have taken his eye out.
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has 34.00 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: life, sex, teen, viagra
You know what I was thinking about right now? What it would be like to have six fingers....high fives would be different.
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has 33.86 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: life
Chuck Norris is not cool. By saying that, I have decreased my life to 5 seco...
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has 33.50 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
"What are you doing there?" "I'm making something." "What are you making?" "A bomb." "Can I help?" "Impossible. It's a nuclear one..."
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has 33.28 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: life, science, work
What's the fastest thing in the world? A beer truck driving through an Indian reserve. What's the second fastest thing in the world? The Indians running after it.
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has 32.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: beer, life
Bruce Lee didn't die from an allergic reaction. He died cause Chuck Norris decided to not let him live anymore.
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has 32.30 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, death, health, life
Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were all real at one time... then they met Chuck. There can only be 1 living legend.
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has 32.18 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, easter, life, Santa
I want me a big black girl...the type of woman that sits in the car and it looks like it's got tinted windows.
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has 31.81 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: black people, car, life, women
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