The best jokes about life

‘Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. They lay there and looked at each other. Their families came and took them away. Eighty years later, by a bizarre coincidence, they lay in the same hospital, on their deathbeds, next to each other. One of them looked at the other and said, “So, what did you think?”’ Steven Wright
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More jokes about: life
At the grammy awards Beyonce said to Justin Bieber, "What song would u sing of mine justin?" Justin said, "If I were a boy."
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More jokes about: celebrity, life, music
A teenage boy overdosed on ten bottles of Viagra. Not only is he lucky to be alive, he’s lucky not to have taken his eye out.
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More jokes about: life, sex, teen, viagra
Patient: "How much do you charge for extracting a tooth?" Doctor: "Fifty rupees." Patient: "Fifty ruppes, for only a few second’s work?" Doctor: "Well, I will do it very slowly." Patient: "How much is for the operation?" Doctor: "Rupees on thousand." Patient: "But it was a serious one." Doctor: "Nonsense. You can’t buy a serious operation for Rupees one Thousand now-a days."
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More jokes about: doctor, life, money
Daughter: Mom,does God go to bathroom? Mom: Why? my child.. Daughter: Today in the morning I heard papa said, "Please God let me go to the bathroom..."
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More jokes about: god, life
A man walks into a chemist’s and says, "Can I have a bar of soap, please?" The chemist says, "Do you want it scented?" And the man says, "No, I’ll take it with me now."
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More jokes about: life, science
I sent my young son to pick up ice cream, I handed him some money and a coupon. Later he came home with the ice cream and the coupon. When I asked him what happened, he replied, “Mom I had enough money. I didn’t need the coupon.”
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More jokes about: life
There once was two people Lisa and Brian They got married and had a child. The only problem was that the child was only a head, he had no arms, legs or torso. So all his life he was picked on and teased and he always wished he had a body. So when he turned 21 his dad took him to a bar and let him have his first beer ever. When he drank a whole bottle an arm popped out. When he drank more bottles more body parts popped out. After drinking many beers he finally had a whole body. As they left the bar, he was very drunk and was hit by a bus and he died. The moral of the story "Quit while you're a head."
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More jokes about: alcohol, bar, kids, life, marriage
How do you know which one is your boss from a crowd of 500 people? You say: “My boss is a stupidest asshole!”
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More jokes about: life
How do you get a Michigan girl into an elevator? Grease her hips, and throw in a Twinkie.
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