In the town I have met one older woman, she told me: "if you give me ten euros, I will pray for your black soul."
I gave her the ten euros, became suspicious, didn't believe her and told her: "ok, but pray for me right now, not in the evening."
The woman has begun: "guardian angel, please, take care of my soul, forgive me all my sins and give me everything I need in my life."
I have asked her only: "for my money?"
Vote:
Daughter: Mom,does God go to bathroom?
Mom: Why? my child..
Daughter: Today in the morning I heard papa said, "Please God let me go to the bathroom..."
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder.
Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky.
Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
A man walks into a chemist’s and says, "Can I have a bar of soap, please?"
The chemist says, "Do you want it scented?"
And the man says, "No, I’ll take it with me now."
I want me a big black girl...the type of woman that sits in the car and it looks like it's got tinted windows.
Vote:
How do you know when an Asian breaks into your home?
Your house is clean, your computer is fixed, and their still pulling out of your driveway.
I sent my young son to pick up ice cream, I handed him some money and a coupon.
Later he came home with the ice cream and the coupon.
When I asked him what happened, he replied, “Mom I had enough money.
I didn’t need the coupon.”
Q: What gets wetter the more it dries?
A: A towel.
A: How do children in Baghdad do?
A: Bombastically.
Patient: "How much do you charge for extracting a tooth?"
Doctor: "Fifty rupees."
Patient: "Fifty ruppes, for only a few second’s work?"
Doctor: "Well, I will do it very slowly."
Patient: "How much is for the operation?"
Doctor: "Rupees on thousand."
Patient: "But it was a serious one."
Doctor: "Nonsense. You can’t buy a serious operation for Rupees one Thousand now-a days."