The best jokes about life

How do you know which one is your boss from a crowd of 500 people? You say: “My boss is a stupidest asshole!”
Vote: has 27.61 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life
Q: What gets wetter the more it dries? A: A towel.
Vote: has 26.97 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
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A blonde goes horseback riding for the first time in her life, she's never had any prior lessons or training. As soon as her bottom hits the saddle, the horse gallops away. Immediately the girl realizes she's not in the saddle correctly and she does everything she can to stay on the horse, she pulls on the horse's mane, she grabs the saddle ... but she realizes it's no use. Finally she decides the best thing to do is to jump clear of the horse but as she does this, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup and she is dragged by the horse. Her head is hitting the ground ... thump ... thump ... thump ... over and over again. Just as she is about to lose consciousness ..... the store manager runs out and unplugs the horse!
Vote: has 26.83 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, customer service, horse, life
There once was two people Lisa and Brian They got married and had a child. The only problem was that the child was only a head, he had no arms, legs or torso. So all his life he was picked on and teased and he always wished he had a body. So when he turned 21 his dad took him to a bar and let him have his first beer ever. When he drank a whole bottle an arm popped out. When he drank more bottles more body parts popped out. After drinking many beers he finally had a whole body. As they left the bar, he was very drunk and was hit by a bus and he died. The moral of the story "Quit while you're a head."
Vote: has 26.75 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, bar, kids, life, marriage
Baby, at midnight we celebrate one year from the last time you kissed me. Look how time files!
Vote: has 25.91 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life, time
Doc, isn't it harmful to drink a shot before eating? No it's not, if you don't eat too often..
Vote: has 25.74 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life
How do you get a Michigan girl into an elevator? Grease her hips, and throw in a Twinkie.
Vote: has 25.67 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
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The old woman comes to a gynecologist. He inspects her and says with the surprice: An old woman, you're pregnant! How did you managed at your age...? Oh, those teens. They always asks to tell them everything, then show and give to try...
Vote: has 24.78 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life
Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan? A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!
Vote: has 24.61 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, drug, life, music
Man returning with his wife from guests. Drunk man drives car better than his sober wife. But there is only one problem, how to explain that to the policeman?
Vote: has 24.15 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life


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