The best marriage jokes

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing – and then they marry him.
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has 36.51 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Always talk to your wife when you’re making love – assuming there’s a phone handy.
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has 36.51 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: marriage
The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up, I said ''Did you get my drift?''.
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has 36.23 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: marriage
What’s it called when a woman is paralysed from the waist down? Marriage.
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has 36.23 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: marriage
What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy? Oh no, not snake and pygmy pie again!
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has 36.23 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, marriage, wife
Husband to wife: ‘You have a flat chest and hairy legs. Tell me, have you ever been mistaken for a man?’ ‘No,’ replies his wife. ‘Have you?’
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has 35.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Happy Father's Day to someome who's been completely replaced in his marriage by Fifty Shades of Grey.
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has 35.32 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: dirty, Fathers day, marriage, sex
Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism.
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has 35.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: marriage, men
Husband: I want to go somewhere on holiday this year I've never been before. Wife: Well, how about the kitchen?
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has 35.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: marriage
I live like a medieval knight. Every night I go to sleep with a battleaxe at my side.
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has 35.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: marriage
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