The best marriage jokes

I got really love sick the other day working away from home. Went to the doctors and they said it was chlamydia.
Vote: has 27.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, marriage
When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: ''I love the simple things in life, but I don't want one of them for my husband''.
Vote: has 27.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
He named the street he built after his wife. It was very apt, as she was cold, hard, cracked and only got ploughed around Christmas.
Vote: has 27.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
My wife and I lead a quiet life. The last time we went out together was when the gas boiler exploded.
Vote: has 27.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
The old couple next door are having a ‘Football Romance’, each is waiting for the other to kick off so they can get some action.
Vote: has 27.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
My husband and I married for better or worse. He couldn’t do better and I couldn’t do worse.
Vote: has 27.24 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his chequebook open.
Vote: has 27.24 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
It's legal to earn money playing hockey Many people play hockey even after they're married The puck's always hard The protective equipment is reusable It lasts at least an hour A two-on-one or a three-on-one is not uncommon You always know how big the stick is You can clean your stick in public without anyone minding You can change players on the fly You don't have to be embarrassed if you don't get the puck up Everyone is finished when the buzzer sounds Your parents cheer when you score Periods last only 20 minutes You're sure to get it at least twice a week You can tell your friends about it afterwards.
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, money, sport, time
Q: What did the fool do with his first 50 cent piece? A: He Married Her
Vote: has 26.78 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, marriage, money
Q: Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women? A: Because a woman who can't afford her own washing machine won't be able to support you.
Vote: has 26.77 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage