The best marriage jokes

I had two women in my bed the other day. I got home from work and discovered my wife is having a lesbian affair.
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has 32.79 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Boy: I would go to the end of the world for you! Girl: yes, but would you stay there….
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has 32.63 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: marriage, relationship
Priest to woman: ‘I don’t think you’ll ever find another man like your late husband.’ Woman: ‘Who’s going to look?’
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has 32.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Since I got married I haven’t looked at another woman. My wife put me off them.
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has 32.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Five men and one woman wash up on a desert island after a shipwreck. Before long they are all getting pretty horny so they all make a deal. Each man will marry the woman for one week at a time, at which point the next man in line will marry her and so on. All the men get sex every five weeks and the woman gets sex as often as she wants with a different man each week. The situation works wonderfully for five years. When the woman suddenly dies... The first week after wasn't too bad. The second week was geting sort of bad. The third week was getting pretty bad. The fourth week was really bad. The fifth week was horrible! By the sixth week it was unbearable... so they buried her.
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has 32.30 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: desert island, disgusting, marriage, time, women
Q: How was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
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has 31.97 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: death, marriage
Wife to husband: ‘I need a new dress.’ Husband: ‘What’s wrong with the dress you’ve got?’ Wife: ‘It’s too long and the veil keeps getting in my eyes.’
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has 31.97 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: marriage
He was in a position to marry anyone he pleased. Unfortunately he didn’t please anyone.
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has 31.97 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: marriage
The old couple next door are having a ‘Football Romance’, each is waiting for the other to kick off so they can get some action.
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has 31.97 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Tom was a model husband. Mind you, he wasn’t a working model.
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has 31.97 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: marriage
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