The best marriage jokes

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing – and then they marry him.
Vote: has 29.93 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

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Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person’s got, you wish you’d ordered that.
Vote: has 29.51 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

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Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism.
Vote: has 29.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, men
The old couple next door are having a ‘Football Romance’, each is waiting for the other to kick off so they can get some action.
Vote: has 29.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

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Tom was a model husband. Mind you, he wasn’t a working model.
Vote: has 29.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

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Man to friend: ‘When did you first realise your wife had stopped loving you?’ Friend: ‘When she pushed me through the window, and wrote for an ambulance.’
Vote: has 29.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

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I got home and found a man in bed with my wife. I said, ‘Who said you could sleep with my wife?’ He said, ‘Everybody.’
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Since I got married I haven’t looked at another woman. My wife put me off them.
Vote: has 28.61 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

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A guy sits down at the bar and orders drink after drink rapidly. “Is everything okay, pal?”, the bartender asks. “My wife and I got into a fight and she said she isn’t talking to me for a month!”. Trying to put a positive spin on things, the bartender says, “Well, maybe that’s kind of a good thing. You know, a little peace and quiet?” “Yeah. But today is the last day”.
Vote: has 28.45 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, bartender, marriage, wife
Why are men with pierced ears are better prepared for marriage? They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Vote: has 28.45 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage