The best marriage jokes

An old woman buys herself some bright red crotchless panties and goes home to surprise her husband. When her husband comes home, she calls him into the bedroom and points to her new panties. "Hey old timer," she says, "come and get some of this!" The old man says, "Hell no, woman. It done ate a hole in your drawers!"
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has 32.79 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Contrary to popular belief, Harry’s mother and father were married. Not to each other. But they were married.
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has 32.79 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: marriage
I had two women in my bed the other day. I got home from work and discovered my wife is having a lesbian affair.
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has 32.79 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Boy: I would go to the end of the world for you! Girl: yes, but would you stay there….
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has 32.63 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: marriage, relationship
Priest to woman: ‘I don’t think you’ll ever find another man like your late husband.’ Woman: ‘Who’s going to look?’
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has 32.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Since I got married I haven’t looked at another woman. My wife put me off them.
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has 32.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: NO! Don’t even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of course! Over and over! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: NO! Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get! Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Are you crazy! I’m not that kind of person! Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling!
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has 32.03 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: love, marriage, relationship
Q: How was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
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has 31.97 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: death, marriage
Wife to husband: ‘I need a new dress.’ Husband: ‘What’s wrong with the dress you’ve got?’ Wife: ‘It’s too long and the veil keeps getting in my eyes.’
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has 31.97 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: marriage
He was in a position to marry anyone he pleased. Unfortunately he didn’t please anyone.
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has 31.97 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: marriage
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