The best marriage jokes

Marriage is bit like having a meal at a self-service buffet: you get exactly what you want, but when you see what another man’s got on his plate you fancy a bit of that as well.
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has 31.97 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Man to friend: ‘When did you first realise your wife had stopped loving you?’ Friend: ‘When she pushed me through the window, and wrote for an ambulance.’
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has 31.97 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: marriage
I got home and found a man in bed with my wife. I said, ‘Who said you could sleep with my wife?’ He said, ‘Everybody.’
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has 31.97 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: marriage
When they get you, they have their own little signature, like Gucci or something like that. When you walk down the street, girls will walk by, and they'll say, "Oh, that's Gladys' work, ain't it?"
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has 31.97 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: marriage, work
What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? About 40 lb.
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has 31.89 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: NO! Don’t even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of course! Over and over! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: NO! Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get! Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Are you crazy! I’m not that kind of person! Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling!
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has 31.64 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: love, marriage, relationship
I wouldn’t say she’s been married a lot but the church is trying to get her to pay for a new aisle carpet.
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has 31.03 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: marriage
My wife and I lead a quiet life. The last time we went out together was when the gas boiler exploded.
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has 31.03 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism.
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has 30.11 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: marriage, men
When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: ''I love the simple things in life, but I don't want one of them for my husband''.
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has 30.11 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: marriage
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