They are a fastidious couple. She’s fast and he’s hideous.
What do you do if your best friend runs off with your husband? Miss her. Pity her.
The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!" Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
An old woman buys herself some bright red crotchless panties and goes home to surprise her husband. When her husband comes home, she calls him into the bedroom and points to her new panties. "Hey old timer," she says, "come and get some of this!" The old man says, "Hell no, woman. It done ate a hole in your drawers!"
Contrary to popular belief, Harry’s mother and father were married. Not to each other. But they were married.
I had two women in my bed the other day. I got home from work and discovered my wife is having a lesbian affair.
Boy: I would go to the end of the world for you! Girl: yes, but would you stay there….
Since I got married I haven’t looked at another woman. My wife put me off them.
The old couple next door are having a ‘Football Romance’, each is waiting for the other to kick off so they can get some action.
Tom was a model husband. Mind you, he wasn’t a working model.