Boy: I would go to the end of the world for you!
Girl: yes, but would you stay there….
Vote:
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
Priest to woman: ‘I don’t think you’ll ever find another man like your late husband.’
Woman: ‘Who’s going to look?’
Since I got married I haven’t looked at another woman.
My wife put me off them.
Wife to husband: ‘I need a new dress.’
Husband: ‘What’s wrong with the dress you’ve got?’
Wife: ‘It’s too long and the veil keeps getting in my eyes.’
He was in a position to marry anyone he pleased.
Unfortunately he didn’t please anyone.
The old couple next door are having a ‘Football Romance’, each is waiting for the other to kick off so they can get some action.
Tom was a model husband.
Mind you, he wasn’t a working model.
Marriage is bit like having a meal at a self-service buffet: you get exactly what you want, but when you see what another man’s got on his plate you fancy a bit of that as well.
Man to friend: ‘When did you first realise your wife had stopped loving you?’
Friend: ‘When she pushed me through the window, and wrote for an ambulance.’