I like a big, strong, hardworking man, a man who wakes up early in the morning eager to work hard.
I'm talking day-in and day-out just working and sweating and sweating and working, and when it's all over, he showers and goes to his job.
A lot of things have changed in my life since I got to know that my girlfriend got pregnant.
My name, living address, phone number...
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing – and then they marry him.
They are a fastidious couple.
She’s fast and he’s hideous.
Always talk to your wife when you’re making love – assuming there’s a phone handy.
Since I got married I haven’t looked at another woman.
My wife put me off them.
Q: How can you tell if a University of Tennessee football player is married?
A: There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup truck.
A wife wanted an expensive fur coat from the executive husband to celebrate their Silver wedding anniversary.
The miser overbearing rich husband rejected the expensive but affordable demand.
He said, "You grow the hair on your chest and I will give you fur coat to cover it."
The wife was out of control with anger.
She pulls up her skirt, drops and throws her panties and pushes her hairy pubic area forward.
She said, "There! I have the hair on my chest, now buy me that damn coat!"
"That’s not your chest, that is your pussy!" husband screamed back.
"Oh yes that is my chest all right" she yelled back. "While we were dating this was your chest of hope. We got married and on our honeymoon you used to tease me it was your chest of pleasure. Then I started bearing children and it became your chest of family, and damn it. If you don’t buy me that fur coat, it is going to be the community chest of public."
Vote:
Yo mama is so stupid she married a carpenter just to get nailed.
What do you do if your best friend runs off with your husband?
Miss her.
Pity her.