The best marriage jokes

I got really love sick the other day working away from home. Went to the doctors and they said it was chlamydia.
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Girlfriend pregnant error... Abort, Marry, Ignore?
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More jokes about: baby, IT, marriage
When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: ''I love the simple things in life, but I don't want one of them for my husband''.
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He named the street he built after his wife. It was very apt, as she was cold, hard, cracked and only got ploughed around Christmas.
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My wife and I lead a quiet life. The last time we went out together was when the gas boiler exploded.
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The old couple next door are having a ‘Football Romance’, each is waiting for the other to kick off so they can get some action.
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Tom was a model husband. Mind you, he wasn’t a working model.
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Whats the difference between married men and parking spaces? Nothing all the good ones are taken.
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My husband and I married for better or worse. He couldn’t do better and I couldn’t do worse.
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The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his chequebook open.
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More jokes about: marriage