The best marriage jokes

Q: What did the fool do with his first 50 cent piece? A: He Married Her
has 27.58 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, marriage, money
I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.
has 26.97 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: marriage
I got really love sick the other day working away from home. Went to the doctors and they said it was chlamydia.
has 26.83 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: doctor, marriage
Girlfriend pregnant error... Abort, Marry, Ignore?
has 26.77 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: baby, IT, marriage
Q: Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women? A: Because a woman who can't afford her own washing machine won't be able to support you.
has 26.75 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: marriage
There once was two people Lisa and Brian They got married and had a child. The only problem was that the child was only a head, he had no arms, legs or torso. So all his life he was picked on and teased and he always wished he had a body. So when he turned 21 his dad took him to a bar and let him have his first beer ever. When he drank a whole bottle an arm popped out. When he drank more bottles more body parts popped out. After drinking many beers he finally had a whole body. As they left the bar, he was very drunk and was hit by a bus and he died. The moral of the story "Quit while you're a head."
has 25.91 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, kids, life, marriage
Remember your wife is a romantic who still loves flowers and chocolates. Show her you remember as well by referring to them occasionally.
has 25.67 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, marriage, memory, romantic
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his chequebook open.
has 25.64 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Q: Why did Frosty the Snowman want a divorce? A: He thought his wife was a flake.
has 25.64 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: divorce, marriage, wife
A man married an illiterate wife. After two years of marriage, they gave birth to a son called EFe. One day his mother asked him to read is multiplication table and he started immediately but when he reached 4multiply by 4 he mistakingly said 8 they mother angrily slapped him and told him the answer wasn't 8 but 44. The boy cried and reported what happened to the father, the father took him back and angrily told the wife to tell him the correct answer and the woman hurriedly say 4mutiply by 4 is it not 44. The man now calmed down and sai d u are Lucky that you got the answer if not I would have disgraced you here. I hope they are all brilliant.
has 23.01 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: communication, kids, marriage, mean
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