The best marriage jokes

It's legal to earn money playing hockey Many people play hockey even after they're married The puck's always hard The protective equipment is reusable It lasts at least an hour A two-on-one or a three-on-one is not uncommon You always know how big the stick is You can clean your stick in public without anyone minding You can change players on the fly You don't have to be embarrassed if you don't get the puck up Everyone is finished when the buzzer sounds Your parents cheer when you score Periods last only 20 minutes You're sure to get it at least twice a week You can tell your friends about it afterwards.
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has 31.03 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: marriage, money, sport, time
I wouldn’t say she’s been married a lot but the church is trying to get her to pay for a new aisle carpet.
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has 31.03 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: marriage
My wife and I lead a quiet life. The last time we went out together was when the gas boiler exploded.
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has 31.03 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: marriage
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the Bishop with an unusual offer: "Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out." He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied. On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom's vows, the Bishop looked the young man in the eye and said: "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?" The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes," then leaned toward the Bishop and hissed: "I thought we had a deal." The Bishop put a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispered: "She made me a better offer."
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has 30.43 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: marriage, money, wedding
Boy: I would go to the end of the world for you! Girl: yes, but would you stay there….
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has 30.41 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: marriage, relationship
When they get you, they have their own little signature, like Gucci or something like that. When you walk down the street, girls will walk by, and they'll say, "Oh, that's Gladys' work, ain't it?"
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has 30.11 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: marriage, work
Priest to woman: ‘I don’t think you’ll ever find another man like your late husband.’ Woman: ‘Who’s going to look?’
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has 29.93 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Why are men with pierced ears are better prepared for marriage? They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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has 29.51 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: marriage
When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: ''I love the simple things in life, but I don't want one of them for my husband''.
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has 28.45 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: marriage
My husband and I married for better or worse. He couldn’t do better and I couldn’t do worse.
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has 28.45 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: marriage
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