The best marriage jokes

There once was two people Lisa and Brian They got married and had a child. The only problem was that the child was only a head, he had no arms, legs or torso. So all his life he was picked on and teased and he always wished he had a body. So when he turned 21 his dad took him to a bar and let him have his first beer ever. When he drank a whole bottle an arm popped out. When he drank more bottles more body parts popped out. After drinking many beers he finally had a whole body. As they left the bar, he was very drunk and was hit by a bus and he died. The moral of the story "Quit while you're a head."
Vote: has 26.75 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, bar, kids, life, marriage
Q: What did the fool do with his first 50 cent piece? A: He Married Her
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More jokes about: disgusting, marriage, money
I got really love sick the other day working away from home. Went to the doctors and they said it was chlamydia.
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More jokes about: doctor, marriage
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his chequebook open.
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More jokes about: marriage
He named the street he built after his wife. It was very apt, as she was cold, hard, cracked and only got ploughed around Christmas.
Vote: has 24.15 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: marriage
A man married an illiterate wife. After two years of marriage, they gave birth to a son called EFe. One day his mother asked him to read is multiplication table and he started immediately but when he reached 4multiply by 4 he mistakingly said 8 they mother angrily slapped him and told him the answer wasn't 8 but 44. The boy cried and reported what happened to the father, the father took him back and angrily told the wife to tell him the correct answer and the woman hurriedly say 4mutiply by 4 is it not 44. The man now calmed down and sai d u are Lucky that you got the answer if not I would have disgraced you here. I hope they are all brilliant.
Vote: has 22.73 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, kids, marriage, mean


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