The best marriage jokes

An angry man is coming home and shouts to his wife, "I know everything!" His wife reacts right away, "Is that so? Then tell me please. Who is the fifth highest peak in the world?"
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has 31.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: geography, marriage, wife
Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: NO! Don’t even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of course! Over and over! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: NO! Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get! Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Are you crazy! I’m not that kind of person! Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling!
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has 31.21 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: love, marriage, relationship
The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!" Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
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has 31.06 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: marriage
When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: ''I love the simple things in life, but I don't want one of them for my husband''.
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has 31.06 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: marriage
My husband and I married for better or worse. He couldn’t do better and I couldn’t do worse.
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has 31.06 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: marriage
It's legal to earn money playing hockey Many people play hockey even after they're married The puck's always hard The protective equipment is reusable It lasts at least an hour A two-on-one or a three-on-one is not uncommon You always know how big the stick is You can clean your stick in public without anyone minding You can change players on the fly You don't have to be embarrassed if you don't get the puck up Everyone is finished when the buzzer sounds Your parents cheer when you score Periods last only 20 minutes You're sure to get it at least twice a week You can tell your friends about it afterwards.
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has 31.03 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: marriage, money, sport, time
I wouldn’t say she’s been married a lot but the church is trying to get her to pay for a new aisle carpet.
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has 31.03 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: marriage
My wife and I lead a quiet life. The last time we went out together was when the gas boiler exploded.
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has 31.03 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Whats the difference between married men and parking spaces? Nothing all the good ones are taken.
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has 30.43 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: marriage
She has her husband eating out of the palm of her hand – it saves on the washing-up.
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has 30.43 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: marriage
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