I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.
There once was two people Lisa and Brian They got married and had a child. The only problem was that the child was only a head, he had no arms, legs or torso. So all his life he was picked on and teased and he always wished he had a body. So when he turned 21 his dad took him to a bar and let him have his first beer ever. When he drank a whole bottle an arm popped out. When he drank more bottles more body parts popped out. After drinking many beers he finally had a whole body. As they left the bar, he was very drunk and was hit by a bus and he died. The moral of the story "Quit while you're a head."
Q: Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women? A: Because a woman who can't afford her own washing machine won't be able to support you.
Q: What did the fool do with his first 50 cent piece? A: He Married Her
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his chequebook open.
He named the street he built after his wife. It was very apt, as she was cold, hard, cracked and only got ploughed around Christmas.
A man married an illiterate wife. After two years of marriage, they gave birth to a son called EFe. One day his mother asked him to read is multiplication table and he started immediately but when he reached 4multiply by 4 he mistakingly said 8 they mother angrily slapped him and told him the answer wasn't 8 but 44. The boy cried and reported what happened to the father, the father took him back and angrily told the wife to tell him the correct answer and the woman hurriedly say 4mutiply by 4 is it not 44. The man now calmed down and sai d u are Lucky that you got the answer if not I would have disgraced you here. I hope they are all brilliant.