The best mean jokes

Teacher: "Who can tell what is a mammal? Little Johnny: "My grand mother!"
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has 70.49 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: family, little Johnny, mean, old people, teacher
Two Reasons why it's so hard to solve a redneck murder: Firstly, the DNA all matches and secondly, there are no dental records.
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has 70.43 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: death, dentist, life, mean, redneck
Two friends, Jenny and Jinny were thinking what to play during the afternoon. For a long time, they could not decide upon any game. Suddenly, Jenny had an idea. She turned to Jinny and said excitedly. "Let's play schools". "OK!" said Jinny. "But I'm going to be absent."
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: friendship, game, mean, school, time
A lawyer was asked if he likes to become a Jehovah's Witness. He declined, as he hadn't seen the accident, but replied that he would still be interested in taking the case.
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: communication, lawyer, mean, money, religious
A man is in Vegas where he lost all of his money so he can't pay for a cab to return to the airport. He sees a cab and begs the driver to give him a free ride to the airport but the cab driver declines. The next year the man returns to Vegas and get filthy rich when he decides to leave for the airport. There is a huge line of cabs, and at the very end of this line was the very driver who never gave him a ride the previous year. The man walks up to the front cab "Excuse me, sir if you give me a free ride to the airport I'll let you give me a handjob." The driver declines immediately. The man then asks all the drivers in this line the same thing. When he gets to the last driver, he pays the fee and the cab driver begins moving, when he moved by the line, the man puts two thumbs up through the window so all the other drivers could see.
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has 70.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: dirty, driving, mean, money, time
Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine's Day. "Yes," came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist, "I've bought her a belt and a bag." "That was very kind of you," Jim added, 'I hope she appreciated the thought." Tony smiled as he replied, "So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now."
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has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: friendship, mean, Valentines day, wife, work
Q: If Bigamy is having one wife too much, what is Monogamy? A: The Same!
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has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: marriage, mean, wife
I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.
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has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, office, work
Do you know the difference between a postal box and a monkey's arse? Well if you don't know I will never ask you to post a letter for me.
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has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, insulting, mean
A man was talking to his wife about going to the social security office. He said he would go the next day. So the next morning he goes but when he gets there he realized he forgot his license and she said that was fine she could tell his age by the hair on his chest. So he opened his shirt and everything went smoothly. He got home and told his wife what happened and she said: "well honey if you would have pulled down your pants you could have filed for disability."
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has 69.96 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: age, communication, mean, sex, wife
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