The best mean jokes

I like my women like my morning coffee, falling off the roof of my car as I peel out of a gas station parking lot.
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: car, mean, women
My wife said to me, "For our anniversary I want to go somewhere I've never been before." So I said, "Try the kitchen!"
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has 70.39 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, communication, marriage, mean, travel
Son: "Mommy why doesn't Gandhi have hair?" Mom: "Because he never lies." Son: "Ohh now I see why ladies have long hair."
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has 69.85 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: communication, insulting, kids, mean, women
I got so fed up with trick or treaters at Halloween that in the end I turned the lights out and pretended I wasn't in. Forget the ships. My lighthouse, my rules...
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has 69.85 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, life, mean, travel, work
Boy: "You know unlike all these other guys, I can make you really happy" Girl: "Why are you leaving?"
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has 69.85 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: flirt, mean, men, women
Q: How long does it take for a workplace bully to come up with a patentable new invention? A: It depends: If the designer's desk drawer is locked, about 5 minutes, otherwise, under a minute.
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has 69.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: black humor, mean, time, vulgar, work
A wife who put her husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
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has 69.28 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: husband, mean, sex, wife
Q: What happens when you give Viagra to lawyers? A: They grow taller!
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has 68.81 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: insulting, lawyer, mean, viagra
Q: VWhy didn't the fixed dog cross the road? A: Because he didn't have the balls to do it.
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has 68.80 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: dog, mean
A guy and a girl are roommates in college. The girl goes to a frat party, brings home another guy, fucks him, and then decides the next morning that she likes her roommate and therefore it's not going to work out. After her fling left, her roommate came up to her and: Him: "I think I found my soulmate in you..." Her: "Really?!" Him: "Yeah... uh... that guy you brought home last night?" Her: "Oh yeah. I don't care about him anymore." Him: "Great! So he's available?"
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has 68.73 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: college, communication, gay, love, mean
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