The best mean jokes

Boy: "Hi, my name is Milk. I'll do your body good." Girl: "Sorry, I'm Lactose intolerant!"
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has 70.45 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: flirt, health, mean, men, women
Q: How long does it take for a workplace bully to come up with a patentable new invention? A: It depends: If the designer's desk drawer is locked, about 5 minutes, otherwise, under a minute.
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has 70.43 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: black humor, mean, time, vulgar, work
Husband says: "When I'm gone you'll never find another man like me". Wife replied: "What makes you think I'd want another man like you!"
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has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: communication, husband, mean, men, wife
I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.
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has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, office, work
A man was talking to his wife about going to the social security office. He said he would go the next day. So the next morning he goes but when he gets there he realized he forgot his license and she said that was fine she could tell his age by the hair on his chest. So he opened his shirt and everything went smoothly. He got home and told his wife what happened and she said: "well honey if you would have pulled down your pants you could have filed for disability."
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has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: age, communication, mean, sex, wife
It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat". The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as. "I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.
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has 69.55 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: accountant, Halloween, kids, mean, men
I decided to grab a burger at a drive-thru. There were no cars in sight, so I rolled up to the pay window. "We're still serving breakfast. And you have to order at the speaker," the clerk scolded. I drove all the way around the building to the squawk box and ordered a breakfast sandwich. "I'm sorry," she said, "we are now serving lunch."
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has 69.55 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: car, customer service, food, mean, time
I lost 125 pounds. It took me a long time, and it cost me a lot of money, but I finally divorced the bitch!
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has 69.55 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: divorce, mean, money, time
"Anton, do you think I'm a bad mother?" "My name is Paul."
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has 69.39 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: family, mean
Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine's Day. "Yes," came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist, "I've bought her a belt and a bag." "That was very kind of you," Jim added, 'I hope she appreciated the thought." Tony smiled as he replied, "So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now."
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has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: friendship, mean, Valentines day, wife, work
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