The best mean jokes

Little boy says to his father: "Daddy, I heard on the news that cigarettes have become much more expensive. Does it mean that you're going to smoke less from now on?" And father replies: "No, son. I will smoke as much as a have. But, you'll be eating less!"
Vote: has 68.56 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, food, kids, mean, money
Husband says: "When I'm gone you'll never find another man like me". Wife replied: "What makes you think I'd want another man like you!"
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, husband, mean, men, wife
Harry's wife says, "Harry, do these jeans make my ass look like the side of the house?" He says, "No, our house isn't blue."
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, marriage, mean
A bill collector came to my house the other day, so I gave him a huge stack of old bills.
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: mean, money, work
Bertie comes sadly to his mommy and says, "Mom, the kids have been mean to me. They keep teasing me that my feet are too big. Please tell me honestly. Are my feet to big?" "Of course not, Bertie. Now go put your shoes in the garage, the dinner is ready."
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, mean, ugly
Me driving by a Taco Bell. Sign: Now Hiring Managers. Two weeks later: Sign: Now Hiring Managers. Background Checks Required.
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, management, mean
Q: How many Asian girls does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, 'cause they couldn't reach it.
Vote: has 67.69 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: asian, light bulb, mean, women
It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat". The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as. "I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: accountant, Halloween, kids, mean, men
Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, fat, mean, single, time
Q: How was break dancing invented? A: Little black kids stealing hub caps off of moving cars.
Vote: has 67.62 % from 94 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, car, insulting, kids, mean