Q: What happens when you give Viagra to lawyers?
A: They grow taller!
Q: VWhy didn't the fixed dog cross the road?
A: Because he didn't have the balls to do it.
A guy and a girl are roommates in college.
The girl goes to a frat party, brings home another guy, fucks him, and then decides the next morning that she likes her roommate and therefore it's not going to work out. After her fling left, her roommate came up to her and:
Him: "I think I found my soulmate in you..."
Her: "Really?!"
Him: "Yeah... uh... that guy you brought home last night?"
Her: "Oh yeah. I don't care about him anymore."
Him: "Great! So he's available?"
My wife said to me, "For our anniversary I want to go somewhere I've never been before."
So I said, "Try the kitchen!"
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Joke has 68.73 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, communication, marriage, mean, travel
Not the people who posted this sign at a bookstore that was going out of business: "Sorry, no public restroom. Try amazon.com."
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On the way home from a hunt, a hunter stops by the grocery store.
"Give me a couple of steaks," he says.
"We're out of steaks but we have hot dogs and chicken," says the butcher.
"Hotdogs and chicken?!" yells the hunter. "How can I tell my wife I bagged a couple of hotdogs and chickens?"
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You are in my heart, you are in my blood, you are in all my body.
Alas, my doc says: "You are a parasite!"
Q: How are women and a hurricane alike?
A: When they arrive they're both wet and wild, when they leave, they take your house and your car.
Q: What is the most dangerous part of a motorcycle?
A: The nut between the seat and the handlebars.
Sorry, I'm late.
I was trying to think of ways to get out of this.