This woman was driving home in Northern Arizona, when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. She stopped the car and asked the woman if she'd like a ride. The woman thanked her and got in the car. After a few minutes, the Navajo woman noticed a brown bag on the back seat and asked the driver what was in the bag. The driver said, "It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband." The Navajo woman thought for a moment, then said, "Good trade."
The new office-boy came into his boss's office and said, "I think you re wanted on the phone, sir." "What d you mean, you think?" demanded the boss. "Well, sir, the phone rang, I answered it and a voice said is that you, you old fool?"
Q: How long does it take for a workplace bully to come up with a patentable new invention? A: It depends: If the designer's desk drawer is locked, about 5 minutes, otherwise, under a minute.
My wife said to me, "For our anniversary I want to go somewhere I've never been before." So I said, "Try the kitchen!"
Boy: "Hey baby, what's your sign?" Girl: "Do Not Enter!"
My mother in law was complaining about her dentures to me. She told: "Whenever I get overweight it'll be a stench; when I make myself thin it would be stretched; when something squeezes in it then I 'll faint from enjoyment!"
I like my women like my morning coffee, falling off the roof of my car as I peel out of a gas station parking lot.
Me driving by a Taco Bell. Sign: Now Hiring Managers. Two weeks later: Sign: Now Hiring Managers. Background Checks Required.
Boy: "You know unlike all these other guys, I can make you really happy" Girl: "Why are you leaving?"
Not the people who posted this sign at a bookstore that was going out of business: "Sorry, no public restroom. Try amazon.com."