The best mean jokes

Not the people who posted this sign at a bookstore that was going out of business: "Sorry, no public restroom. Try amazon.com."
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: business, customer service, mean
Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: christian, Chuck Norris, mean
Q: How many Asian girls does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, 'cause they couldn't reach it.
Vote: has 66.10 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: asian, light bulb, mean, women
Boy: "You know unlike all these other guys, I can make you really happy" Girl: "Why are you leaving?"
Vote: has 65.80 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: flirt, mean, men, women
On the first day of the deer hunting season, a hunter fell out of a deer stand and broke both his legs. "Why couldn't this happen on my last day of hunting?!" the hunter cried to the doctor. "It did," the doctor replied.
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, doctor, hunting, mean, time
Sorry, I'm late. I was trying to think of ways to get out of this.
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: mean
Which Women's Day gift would you like? To determine your personality, pick the gift you'd most like to receive! 1. Candy 2. Flowers 3. A sweet poem 4. Dinner/Dancing 5. Waffle iron 1. CANDY It means that... You are a sweet person who enjoys traditional gifts and hopefully likes to share. OR... You're a selfish chocoholic who values a sugar high over everything, even true love. 2. FLOWERS It means that... You love the beauty of nature, the scent of flowers and appreciate this timeless romantic gesture. OR... You get some twisted joy out of watching vegetation wither and die. 3. A SWEET POEM It means that... You're a hopeless romantic, a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the written word. OR... You're used to cheap gifts and like to pass yourself off as a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the written word. 4. DINNER/DANCING It means that... You enjoy the company of that special someone and the romantic setting of fine cuisine and candlelight. OR... You're easy to please and probably willing to sell your body for food and a few quick turns around the dance floor. 5. WAFFLE IRON It means that... You're a practical person who believes in gifts that you can actually use. OR... You have absolutely no idea of what gift-giving is all about and probably have some sort of deviant fetish involving kitchen appliances.
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, food, mean, romantic, women
This woman was driving home in Northern Arizona, when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. She stopped the car and asked the woman if she'd like a ride. The woman thanked her and got in the car. After a few minutes, the Navajo woman noticed a brown bag on the back seat and asked the driver what was in the bag. The driver said, "It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband." The Navajo woman thought for a moment, then said, "Good trade."
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: driving, mean, time, wine, women
Little Lucy met Little Johnny after school and ask him, "Johnny do you you think I'm cute?" Little Johnny looked at her from head to toe irritably and replied. "Roses are red. Your blood is too. You look like a monkey. And belong in a zoo. Do not worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, But laughing at you".
Vote: has 64.93 % from 50 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, kids, little Johnny, mean, poems
I like my women like my morning coffee, falling off the roof of my car as I peel out of a gas station parking lot.
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, mean, women