The best mean jokes

Bertie comes sadly to his mommy and says, "Mom, the kids have been mean to me. They keep teasing me that my feet are too big. Please tell me honestly. Are my feet to big?" "Of course not, Bertie. Now go put your shoes in the garage, the dinner is ready."
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: kids, mean, ugly
Me driving by a Taco Bell. Sign: Now Hiring Managers. Two weeks later: Sign: Now Hiring Managers. Background Checks Required.
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, management, mean
It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat". The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as. "I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, Halloween, kids, mean, men
A married couple has invoked the ghosts, after 15 minutes of invoking has appeared only the face of the grandmother of the man. The married couple has asked the grandmother together: "What would you like to tell us dear granny? " The granny has said: "I am looking forward to seeing you soon. Have a nice day!"
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: couple, marriage, mean, old people, time
Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm in love but not with you... When we broke up you thought I cried But all it was... Was another guy, You told your friends that I was a trick, I told mine that you had a weak dick... I said I loved you And you thought it was true, But guess what baby?! You got played too!
Vote: has 66.90 % from 71 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, insulting, love, mean, poems
Woman to her husband while at it: "Please say dirty things to me!" Man: "Bath, Kitchen, Living room..."
Vote: has 66.77 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, dirty, mean, men, women
I was walking down the street with my wife earlier when she accused me of being ashamed to be seen with her. "That's total bollocks" I replied. By text, from across the road.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, marriage, mean
A man is walking through the wood and he meets a really ugly, big and a fat frog. The frog says: "Hello, prince if you kiss me, I will fulfill you one wish. You can wish whatever you want." The man says: "Ok, I will kiss you." He kisses the frog, he has told her his wish but nothing has happened. And the frog said: "Now you can see, such an old man and still believes in fairy tales."
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, animal, mean, stupid
A man has visited a fortune teller because he wanted to know his future. The fortune teller has taken a look at him from his head to his toes and has said: "you will be not rich because you have a very small ass and with such an ass it is not possible to sit on two seats."
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: mean, money, time, vulgar, work
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute? A: Clothes.
Vote: has 66.60 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, insulting, lawyer, mean, sex


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