The best mean jokes

I went to a pharmacy and asked for a black condom. Manager wondered and asked me, "why black sir?" "My friend's husband died; I want to console her," I said.
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has 69.49 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: dirty, marriage, mean, relationship, sex
Q: How long does it take for a workplace bully to come up with a patentable new invention? A: It depends: If the designer's desk drawer is locked, about 5 minutes, otherwise, under a minute.
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has 69.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: black humor, mean, time, vulgar, work
My wife said to me, "For our anniversary I want to go somewhere I've never been before." So I said, "Try the kitchen!"
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has 69.28 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, communication, marriage, mean, travel
I like my women like my morning coffee, falling off the roof of my car as I peel out of a gas station parking lot.
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has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: car, mean, women
Not the people who posted this sign at a bookstore that was going out of business: "Sorry, no public restroom. Try amazon.com."
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has 68.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: business, customer service, mean
One day, a guy walks into a pub and orders a beer. His friend walks up and sees his red eyes and asks, "Dude, are you okay? You look exhausted". He replies,"Yeah, I heard about what happened in your house yesterday too. Tough." His friend says, "Yeah, I wish I could trust my wife a little more - wait... How did you know about that?" He says,"I was there" and continues chugging his beer.
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has 68.56 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: beer, communication, friendship, marriage, mean
My mother in law was complaining about her dentures to me. She told: "Whenever I get overweight it'll be a stench; when I make myself thin it would be stretched; when something squeezes in it then I 'll faint from enjoyment!"
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has 68.32 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: fat, mean, mother in law
Little boy says to his father: "Daddy, I heard on the news that cigarettes have become much more expensive. Does it mean that you're going to smoke less from now on?" And father replies: "No, son. I will smoke as much as a have. But, you'll be eating less!"
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has 68.01 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: dad, food, kids, mean, money
You are in my heart, you are in my blood, you are in all my body. Alas, my doc says: "You are a parasite!"
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has 67.98 % from 165 votes. More jokes about: doctor, flirt, health, mean, romantic
On the way home from a hunt, a hunter stops by the grocery store. "Give me a couple of steaks," he says. "We're out of steaks but we have hot dogs and chicken," says the butcher. "Hotdogs and chicken?!" yells the hunter. "How can I tell my wife I bagged a couple of hotdogs and chickens?"
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has 67.69 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, hunting, marriage, mean
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